UNDER A CLOUD.
THE STORY OF A STRANGE EXPERIENCE.
by Ernest A Young
(1858-1936)
DID
I imagine it, or was I awakened by a kiss, which
fell upon my forehead with the gentleness of a
snowflake?
There was an interval of several moments before I
could open my eyes, and when I did so there was not
a soul beside myself in the room.
For some time I lay in a languid state, my brain
too indolent even to trouble itself about the person
who kissed me if it were a kiss. But at length I was
aroused by the opening of a door, and a moment after
a woman stood by my bedside, bending upon me a
look of kind solicitude. She was young, and there was
an indescribable charm about her presence. Yet even
in my indolent state I realised that she was not
handsome.
"You are better," she said, in a sweet, firm voice.
The hand which she placed upon my forehead as she
spoke was firm in its
touch also, and I instinctively
realised that the owner possessed a resolute nature in
spite of her gentleness.
"I I have been very ill?" I inquired, in a voice
which somehow sounded to me as strange and new as
her own.
"You had a fall and were injured," she said, adding
with an eager look which I did not then understand:
"but I suppose you do not yet recall your adventure?"
"I do not remember," was my indifferent response.
"I would not try. It doesn't matter at all. Here is
something you were to drink when you awoke to
consciousness if you did awake. Then you were to go
to sleep directly."
With her strong, experienced arm, my unknown
friend raised my head to drink the cordial, which I
accepted submissively. Afterwards I slept, I know
not how long, and upon again awakening my plain-faced,
sweet-voiced nurse was still at my bedside. Her
firm, gentle hand again rested upon my head, while
she spoke in a quiet, reassuring voice:
"The doctor says you will soon be about again, you
are so much better. He is here, and wishes to speaking
with you."
She paused, and a short, gray-bearded man, whose
presence had not before been noticed, advanced, and I
felt the power of his gaze upon me. I say power,
because he was unquestionably a man of great
magnetic force, aside from his skill in medical
practice.
"Doctor Barlow," said my nurse, and then, in her
quiet way, she withdrew.
"You will be all right again in a few days, sir," were
his first words, spoken with an assurance that quieted
the slight flutter in. my mind which threatened to
confuse me.
"I am glad to hear you say so," I replied.
"You are aware that your illness was the result of
an injury?" he continued, speaking in a careless tone.
I contracted my brows in a sudden spasm of thought.
A strange, wild flood of questions rushed in upon
my mind, and I believe the doctor's cool hand laid
upon my head at that moment saved me from going
mad.
"You cannot recall the event, so do not try," he
quietly said.
"You may get up and dress to-morrow," he calmly
added.
"Tell me how it happened?" I exclaimed, the
impulse to know the cause of my illness growing
strong upon me.
"You were found upon the road and were picked up
for dead. They brought you here and I attended you."
Again I started up in bed, and this time the doctor
restrained me only partially. He regarded me with
deep interest, but betrayed not the slightest sign of
anxiety, although he must have been intensely
anxious all the while. The flood of queries which,
half incoherently, had already shaped themselves in my
mind now rushed to my lips.
"How came I in the road?" I demanded, and before
Doctor Barlow could have uttered a reply had he tried
to do so I continued:
"And when was I found there? and whose house is
this? And my pleasant-voiced nurse who is she?
My God, doctor! tell me who am I?"
My brain was in a whirl as I uttered these queries,
and I shivered as with the ague. But Doctor Barlow
listened as impassively as though it were all the most
commonplace matter in the world. His persistent
calmness in a measure communicated itself to me, and
his answers were given with such a reassuring voice
and air that the shock to me was greatly lessened.
There are few men who could have conveyed the truth
to one in my excited state with such tact and
gentleness.
"You met with your misfortune some three weeks
ago," he said in his even tones. "This is my house
and the young nurse is my daughter. It is nothing so
very unusual for a person, under some violent shock,
either physical or mental, to lose for a time all recollections
of past events, and even of one's own identity.
You will recover in time. There was nothing upon
your person to give us a clue to your name, but for the
sake of convenience, since
we must call you something,
my daughter has called you Paul Conway. If
you do not fancy the name you may adopt any other,
until your memory recalls the one to which you are
entitled."
Somehow, his candid statement of the situation
instead of exciting, calmed me. I lay back upon my
pillow, and overcome by the exertion, I soon fell
asleep.
My physical recovery from that day was rapid.
Within a week I was dressed and able to walk about
my room; in another week I was strolling about
the doctor's tasteful grounds, listening to the songs of
birds, enjoying the luxury of the fresh verdure and
June sunshine. Miss Barlow was with me frequently,
and I was presently puzzled by a conviction that she
watched my movements, studied my countenance, and
even appeared to wish to keep me under constant surveillance. And yet she was otherwise so courteous,
and in all ways so gentle and unselfish in her intentions,
that as the weeks passed the sweet episode of
love crept into the new life I was living. For as yet
the past remained as a sealed book to me.
One day as we were strolling down the garden path
I abruptly said to her:
"I think I am quite well and strong now, and it is
time for me to go to work - at something." For it had
more than once occurred to me that, with other things,
I had forgotten the means of gaining a livelihood
which I must once have possessed.
"Perhaps you do not need to work if you could
only remember who you are. Perhaps you are a man
of wealth?" said Miss Barlow, with one of her smiles
which always made her plain face so beautiful.
"It will do mo little good if I am, since I do not
know it," I replied.
"You must remain here until you recover your
memory," she said, so decisively that I looked at her
in surprise.
"You wish me to stay as a charity patient?"
"No, no. You will pay my father sometime. You
are under his care, you know, and he is ambitious to
effect a cure."
As she said this she laid one hand in an eager,
earnest way upon my arm. I felt that, looking into
my eyes as she did then, she could not fail to read my
heart, and in impassioned words I essayed to tell her
of the deep pure love which I felt for her. But she
checked me in a hurried anxious manner.
"No, no!" she cried. I could see that her face had
grown deathly pale, and she glanced, involuntarily as
it seemed, at a ring which I had more than once seen
upon her finger. And I was convinced then, of what
I had painfully suspected before it was an
engagement ring.
"You have an attachment already?" I exclaimed,
unable to keep the pain of disappointment from
showing itself in my face and voice.
"Do not ask me now," was her reply, with a glance
that I could not understand, while it thrilled me
strangely. "Wait until you are well," she falteringly
continued, "and I will tell you all. How do I know
that you are free to love me? You may have a wife
already. Even you do not know."
She smiled again and hurried into the house, leaving
me alone to ponder upon the strangeness of my
situation. As I stood under the shadow of a
high-growing hedge, I heard the sound of voices upon the
other side.
"All I want is a good, square look at him," said one,
in a velvety voice. "I can spot him easily enough.
You say this invalid guest of the Barlows is of dark
complexion? And not over tall?"
"That is his description," declared the other.
"And that he came here about ten weeks ago?"
"Yes."
"You have seen him strolling about the grounds you
say? And did you notice one hand his left one, I
believe?"
"It has a red scar across the back of it. Yes I
noticed that."
"Good! Then there remains scarce the shadow of
a doubt but he is the man. But I must make haste
slowly. We detectives have to keep our eyes open.
It is possible the Barlow girl "
He paused abruptly, and the two men walked away
leaving me to conjecture, with my mind in a tumult,
their meaning. For a long time I remained there,
thinking and gazing at my left hand with the scar
across the back of it. Oh! The missing link in my
memory. I began to suspect that it contained a
horrible episode that would unseat my reason if it were
ever recalled.
I could not quite make up my mind to tell Alice
Barlow that night of the conversation which I had
overheard.
Retiring early to my room, I was overcome by a
sense of drowsiness, and fell asleep in an easy chair.
I was awakened by a hurried knocking at my door.
Flinging it open, I was confronted by Alice, who
seemed clad for a journey, while her countenance was
a picture of womanly strength and resolution.
"Come, Mr Conway," she said, in a low, imperative
voice. "My father is at the door with his carriage,
and wishes us to go with him. Hasten, if you would
spare me calamity!"
"Whither are we to go?" I asked while I obediently
donned a light overcoat and hat and followed her
down the stairs.
"To the railway station," was her answer.
"And thence?"
"I do not know."
I was silent until we were all three in the carriage
and speeding along the quiet road, the wheels rumbling
faintly, the chirp of crickets and distant croak of frogs
being the only audible sounds.
"I suppose this is an attempt to prevent me from
falling into the hands of the detectives?" I then
asked.
"Then you know?" the doctor quickly asked,
looking intently into my face.
"I know from something overheard, that I am under
surveillance; but why I have not the remotest idea."
"Your memory is still silent, then?"
"Yes."
"Well, well, I cannot enlighten you, except that the
officers are after a man of your description. They
will arrest you if you stay here, and they refuse
to accept even my assurance that you have no recollection
of the past. Your only course is in flight."
"But it does not devolve upon you to become a partner in
my misfortunes," I remonstrated.
"You are my patient, and I shall not allow anything
to happen to deprive me of the glory of curing you,
if I can help it," he decisively said.
We reached the station barely in time for a passing
train which, it being an unimportant place, had to be
signalled. Alice was the first to ascend the car steps.
I waited an instant for the doctor, who had shopped to
procure tickets. I saw him coming at a run, and in
pursuit followed a lank, shrewd-faced man, who
shouted a voice which was the same as that I had
overheard inquiring about me that afternoon.
"Hold on, doctor I've got a case for you. And a
big fee!" said the detective.
The train had already started, and I sprang aboard.
Doctor Barlow, at the risk of his life, followed. The
detective caught at the handrail the car sped past
him, but a hand thrust him back that he missed it,
and he was thrown with some violence upon the station
platform. It was my hand that baulked his attempt.
This was not a telegraph station, so were not
intercepted at the larger town where we changed.
Doctor Barlow had shrewdly bought through tickets
to a point which he had not thought of making our
destination, and here he obtained others, this time for
but it does not matter where, across the Canada line.
For a day and two nights rode on and on. Of
that journey I have now only vague recollection, for
before it had ended I was again ill, and very ill. The
past weeks had been fraught with a constant struggle
on my part to recall past events a struggle the
intensity of which even I did not realize. And now
the discovery that was wanted for crime, and the
excitement of our escape, not unmingled with an
undercurrent of love for the purest, strongest, most
devoted of women, with conflicting hopes and fears
and threatened disappointment, altogether made a
crisis which I was not able withstand. And for
weeks I was ill with brain fever.
*
*
*
*
* *
Again in langour and weakness I revoke to a sense
of my surroundings. Again Alice Barlow, calm, gentle,
faithful, attended my slightset wants. What passed
in my thoughts during succeeding days and weeks
would fill a volume if I were to write it out. We
talked of many things, in a light, placid vein. Doctor
Barlow told me quaint stories and we all laughed at
them, but my strength came back very slowly.
One evening I fell into a half-doze, from which I
was awakened by someone coming softly into my
room. I knew it was Alice, and did not open my eyes,
until softly as a snowflake again a kiss fell upon my
forehead. Then I looked up into the dearest of faces
bending over me, and in a moment held one of her
hands in mine the one that wore the ring. Did I say
she was plain-looking? Ah! she was positively
beautiful then!
"May I remove that, Alice?" I asked, touching the
ring.
"No, no," she quickly cried.
"Then you still love the one that placed it there?"
She was silent, but her face answered so plainly
that it was strange that I could remain so calm.
"You promised to tell me about it, some time," I
persisted.
"When you were well," she answered. As she spoke
her eyes met mine, and for one lingering moment she
gazed, and then this strong, placid young woman was
sobbing joyfully in my arms.
For days the memory of my past life had been
coming back to me, and I remembered the occurrence
which had caused the paralyzing shock to my brain,
and ended in my becoming a fugitive from the
authorities. I had an enemy, who, in a moment of
frenzy, attacked me, and partly in self-defence and
partly by inadvertence, I had taken his life. There
were no witnesses, but circumstances would have
convicted me of a wilful crime. In my heart, and before
God, I was blameless. Should I give myself up and
suffer a penalty I did not deserve? Conscience,
prayer, Alice Barlow, her father, all counselled me
against doing so.
"And you believed me innocent from the first?" I asked, when I had told Alice all the details.
"Yes. But I should have clung to you the same
had you been guilty."
For Alice and I were betrothed before the cloud came
upon my memory.
It was I who gave her the ring.
(THE END)