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He seems to have crossed my path only to shake my self-confidence. The little conversation we had has left me dissatisfied. I look upon my collection with less interest than I did. I am not as pleased with the result of my investigations as they appear in my monograph on The Saurian Family of Equatorial America. Doubtless the mood that now possesses me will pass away, and I shall recover my equanimity. His story would have upset most men. Worse still was his unpleasant habit of interjecting strange opinions. Judge for yourself. It was when passing through the Reptile room on my way to the study that I first saw him. I took him to be a mere common working man passing away an idle hour; one of the ordinary Museum visitors. Two hours later, I noticed that he was closely examining the lizard cases. Then, later, he seemed interested in my collection of prints illustrating the living world of the ante-diluvian period. It was then that I approached him, and, finding him apparently intelligent, with, as it seemed, a bent towards lizards, and, further, discovering that he had traveled in Peru and Colombia, took him to the study. The man had some unusual habits. He was absolutely lacking in that sense of respect, as I may term it, usually accorded to one in my position. One who is a professor and curator, becomes accustomed to a certain amount of, well, diffidence in laymen. The attitude is entirely natural. It is a tribute. But Rounds was not that way. He was perfectly at ease. He had an air of quiet self-possession. He refused the chair I indicated, the chair set for visitors and students, and, instead, walked to the window and threw up the lower sash, taking a seat on the sill, with one foot resting on the floor and the other swinging. Thus, he looked as tho he were prepared to leap, or to jump or run. He gave me the impression of being on the alert. Without asking permission, he filled and lit his pipe, taking his tobacco from a queerly made pouch, and using but one hand in the process. "What I was looking for," he said, "is a kind of lizard. Yet it is not a lizard. It is too hard and thin in the body to be that. It runs on its hind legs. It is white. Its bite is poisonous. It lives in the equatorial districts of Colombia." "Have you seen one?" I asked. "No," was the reply. Then after a moment he asked, "Why?" "Because there is no such living creature," I said. "How do you know?" he said abruptly. "The lizard group is thoroly classified," I said. "There is nothing answering to that description. In the first place " "Does that make it non-existent? Your classification of what you know?" he interrupted. "I have made a study of the Saurians," I said. "No, you haven't," he said. "You have read what other men have written and that is not the same thing." "Really," I began, but he broke in. "I mean to say that you have never been in any new equatorial country," he said. "Your manner shows that. You are too quiet. Too easy. Too sedentary. You would have been killed because of your lack of vigilance." That is, as nearly as I can repeat and remember, the opening of the conversation. There was an air of challenge about the man that I found unpleasant. Of course I admitted the fact that I was not an explorer myself, and that mine was the humbler if more tedious task of collecting and arranging data. At that he said that, in his opinion, organized expeditions were little more than pleasure jaunts taken at the public expense. His view point was most extraordinary.
"Such an expedition," he said, "must fail in
its main purpose because its very
"Nothing of the kind," he said. "Look at
that boa-constrictor you have out there. It is
stuffed and in a glass case. Don't you know
that in its natural surroundings you yourself
would come mighty near stepping on one
without seeing it? You would. If you had that
thing set up as it should be, these museum
visitors of yours would pass the case believing
it was a mere collection of foliage. They
wouldn't see the snake itself. See what I
mean? Set up as they are in real life they'd
come near being invisible. The man walked up and down the study floor for half a minute or so, then paused at the desk and said. "Don't let us get to entertaining one another tho. But remember this, you only get knowledge at a cost. I mean to say that the man that would know something can only get the knowledge at first hand. The people who wander around this junk shop that you call a museum go out as empty headed as they came in. Consider. Say a Fiji islander came here and took back with him from the United States an electric bulb, a stuffed possum, an old hat, a stalactite from the Mammoth cave, a sackful of pecan nuts, a pair of hand-cuffs, half a dozen packing cases full of things gathered from here and there, and then set the whole junk pile up under a roof in the Fiji islands, what would his fellow Fijians know from that of the social life of this country. Eh? Tell me that." "You exaggerate," I protested. "You take an extreme point of view." "I don't," he said. His contradictions would have made me angry perhaps, were they not made in such a quiet tone of voice. "Take anything from its natural surroundings," he went on, "and it is meaningless. The dull eyed men and women that wander through this Museum of yours are just killing time. There's no education in that kind of thing. Besides, what they see are dead things anyway and you can't study human nature in a morgue." He resumed his seat on the window sill, then took from an inner pocket a leather wallet, and drew from that a photograph which he tossed across so that it fell on the desk before me. I examined it carefully. It had been badly developed and badly printed, and, what was worse, roughly handled. But still, one could distinguish certain features. It pictured the interior of a building. It was roofless, and above the rear wall was what I recognized as tropical vegetation, mainly by its wild luxuriance. In the center of the rear wall was what seemed to be a giant stone lizard standing on its hind legs. The one foreleg that showed was disproportionately short. The body, too, was more attenuated than that of any lizard. The thing was headless and the statue, idol or whatever it was, stood on a pedestal, and before that again seemed to be a slab of stone. Then my attention was caught by the head of the thing, which was to be seen in a corner. It was shaped roughly triangular. The jaws were broad at the base and the thing had, even in the photograph, something of the same repulsive appearance as the head of a vampire bat. "It is the result of the imagination of some Indian," I said. "No post-diluvian saurian ever existed of that size." "Good God, man, you jump to conclusions," he said. "This is only a representation of the thing itself. Made in heroic size, so to say. But see here."
He leaned over my shoulder and pointed to a
kind of border that ran along the base of the
pedestal. Examining closely, I made out a
series of lizards running on their hind legs.
The particular spot to which he pointed was blurred and dirty, as tho many fingers had pointed to it and I took the magnifying glass for closer inspection. Even then I only saw dimly a something that bore a resemblance to the carved figures. "That," he said, "is as near as ever I came to seeing one of the little devils. I think it was one of them, tho I am not sure. I caught sight of it flashing across like a swiftly blown leaf. We took the picture by flash light, you see, so I'm not sure. Somerfield, of course, was too busy attending to his camera. He saw nothing." "We might have another picture made," I said. "It would be interesting." "D'ye think I'd be able to carry plunder around traveling as I was then?" he asked. "You see, I went down there for the Company I'm working for. I was looking out for rubber and hard woods. I'd worked from Buenaventura. From Buenaventura down to the Rio Caqueta and then followed that stream up to the water shed, and then down the Codajaz. If you look at the map, you'll see it's no easy trip. No chance to pack much. All I wanted to carry was information. And there was only Somerfield along." "But Somerfield he, as I take it, was the photographer, was he not? Did he not take care of the negatives? It would not have been much for him to take care of." "Well, you see, he did take care of his negatives. But circumstances were different at the time. He had laid them away somewhere. After I killed him, I just brought away the camera and that was all." Positively, I gasped at the audacity of the man. He said the words, "I killed him," so quietly, in so matter of fact a way, that for the moment I was breathless. Like most other men, I had never sat face to face with one who had taken the life of another.
It was, therefore, a startling thing to hear
Rounds confess to having killed a fellow man.
It was awesome. And yet, let me say that at
once I was possessed of a great desire to learn
all about it, and down in my heart I feared
that he would decide he had said something
that he should not have said, and would either
deny his statement or modify it in some way.
I wanted to hear all the details. I was hugely
interested. Was it morbidity? Then I came
to myself after what was a shock, and awoke to
the fact that he was talking in his quiet, even
way.
I came to attention and said, "Of course, it is natural," for I feared to have him know that I was inattentive even for that short space, and waited for elucidations. "It seems," he went on, "that the tribe was dying out. Helm, who first told me something of it at Buenaventura, was one of those scientists who have to invent a new theory for every new thing they were told of. He said it was either because of eating too much meat, or not enough. I forget which. There had been a falling off in the birth rate. The Tocalinian who had lived with them, and who joined us at the headwaters of the Codajaz, maintained that there had been too much inbreeding. So there was some arrangement by means of which they invited immigrants, as it were. Men from other neighboring tribes were encouraged to join the Tlingas. And they did. The Tlingas had a fat land and welcomed the immigrants. The immigrants on their part expected to have an easy time."
As Round talked, he grew quieter in his tone.
He moved from his place on the window sill and
sat on the corner of my desk. I had forgotten
my uneasiness at being in the presence of one
who had taken his fellow's life. He went on:
"It seems impossible," I said. "No," he said. "You have that in part. You ridicule what you call old maids, don't you?" Again I was too slow with my reply. If I ever meet him again, I shall show him the fallacy of many of his arguments. "Men with most children had the most to say. The childless were penalized, were punished. The sterile were put to death. There grew up a religion and a priesthood, ceremonials, sacrifices and rituals. And they had their god, in the shape of this lizard thing. Of course, like most other gods, it was more of a malevolent creature than anything else. Gods generally are, if you will consider a little. I don't care what creed or religion gets the upper hand, it's Fear that becomes the power. Look around and see if I'm not right. "Well, Somerfield and I walked into that kind of thing. Now, like me, he had worked for the Exploration Company a good few years and had been to all kinds of places prospecting Torres Straits, the Gold Coast, Madagascar, Patagonia. We prospectors have to get around in queer corners and the life's a dull one. All monotony. But Somerfield had queer notions. He worked at the job because he could make more money than at anything else and that gave him a chance to keep his family in Ohio in comfort. He was mighty fond of his family. Besides, the job gave him more time with the wife and kids than the average man gets. When he was at home, he was at home three months on end at times. That's better than the ordinary man. "Now, this being so, Somerfield was what he was. He had ideas about religion. He was full of the notion that things are arranged so that, if you live up to a certain code, you'll get a reward. 'Do right, and you'll come out right,' was one of his sayings. 'The wages of sin is death' was another. Point out to him that virtue got paid in the same coin, and he'd argue. No use. In a way he was like a man who wouldn't walk under a ladder or spill salt. You know.
"Naturally, for him things were awkward at
the Tlinga village. We stayed there quite a
while I should say. He lived in his own shack,
cooking for himself and all that. He was full
of ideas of duty to his wife and so on. I fell in
with the local customs and took up with a
sweetheart, and handled things so well that
there was one of their ceremonials pretty soon
in which I was central figure. Ista, it seems,
made a public announcement. That would be
natural enough with a tribe so concerned about
the family birth rate. But it made me sorter
mad to hear the natives everlastingly accusing
Somerfield of being an undesirable. But they
never let up trying to educate him and make
him a Tlinga citizen. They were patient and
persistent enough. On the other hand, I was
looked on as a model young man, and received
into the best society.
"But that has nothing to do with the story. What has, is that Ista wanted to tell me about the ceremonial. She did not believe in it at all. Privately, she was a kind of atheist among her people, but kept her opinions to herself. She had thought out things for herself and had her own beliefs, but they were not the beliefs the Tlingas were supposed to hold. But after all she did not tell me much besides her own disbeliefs. When you think of it, no one can tell another much. What you know you have to discover alone. All she told me was what was going to be done, and that was about as disappointing as the information you might get about what would take place in initiation in a secret society. Some was lost in transmission. "Well, at last the ceremonial started up with a great banging of drums and all that. It was a great scene, let me tell you, with the tumbled vegetation, glaringly colored as if a scene painter had gone crazy. There were the flashing birds blood colored and orange, scarlet and yellow, gold and green. Butterflies too great gaudy things that looked like moving flowers. And the noise and chatterings and whistlings in the trees of birds and insects. There were flowers and fruits, and eatings and speech makings. As far as I could gather, the chief speakers were congratulating the hearers upon their luck in belonging to the Tlingas, which was the greatest tribe on earth and the favorite of Naol, the lizard god. We capered round the tribal pole, I capering with the rest of them of course. Somerfield took a picture of it. Then there was a procession of prospective mothers, with Ista among them. Rotten I thought it. Don't imagine female beauty, by the way, as some of the writers on savage life would have you imagine it. Nothing of the kind. White, black or yellow, I never saw a stark woman that looked beautiful yet. That's all bunk. Muscular and strong, yes. That's a kind of beauty in its way. True as God, I believe that one of the causes of unhappy marriages among white folk is that the lads are fed upon false notions about womanly beauty and when they get the reality they think they've captured a lemon.
"Presently the crowd quieted down and the
men were set around in a semi-circle with me
and Somerfield at the end.
"She began running from this one to that, kind of working herself up into a frenzy. Then she started to chant some old nonsense. There was a rhythm to it. She sang:
"'Nao calls. Nao calls.'
"Of course they became worked up. She
handled them pretty much the same as a
skilful speaker does things at political meeting
or an evangelist at a revival. The same
spirit was there. Instead of a flag, there was
the tribal pole. There was the old gag of their
nation or tribe being the chosen one. I don't
care where you go, there is always the same
thing. Every tribe and nation is cock-sure
that theirs is the best. They have the bravest
and the wisest men and the best women. But I
kept nudging Somerfield. It was hard on him.
He was the Judas and the traitor and all that.
'Damn fool superstition' he muttered to me
time and again. But of course he was a bit
nervous, and so was I. Being in the minority is
awkward. The human brain simply isn't
strong enough to encounter organized opposition.
It wears. You spend too much energy
being on the defensive.
"On the trail next day, for we left the following morning, I argued with him about that, but he couldn't be budged. He said he stood for truth and all that kind of thing. I put it to him that he would expect any foreigner to conform to his national customs. He'd expect a Turk to give up his polygamy, I said, no matter what heart breakings it cost some of the family. But he had a kink in his thinking, holding that his people had the whole, solid, unchanging truth. Of course, the argument came down with a crash then, for it worked around to a question of what is truth. There you are. There was the limit. So we quit. As I tell you, the human brain is not constituted to do much thinking. It's been crippled by lack of use. We are mentally stunted in growth. I remember that I began to say something about the possibility of there being several gods, meaning that some time or other men with imagination had defied some natural thing, but it came to me that I was talking nonsense, so I quit. Yet I know right well that many tribes have made gods of things of which they were afraid. But it's small profit to theorize.
"It was near sun-down when we came to that
building shown in that photograph. The
vegetation was so thick thereabouts that the temple,
for I suppose it was that, appeared before us
suddenly. One moment we were crawling like
insects between the trunks of great jungle trees
that shot upwards seventy feet or more without
a branch, as if they were racing for dear life
sky-ward, and then everything fell away and
there was the old building. It startled the both
of us. We got the sensation that you get when
you see a really good play. You forget your
bodily presence and you are only a bundle of
nerves. You walk or sit or stand, but without
any effort or knowledge that you are doing it.
We had been talking, and the sight of that
building, so unexpected, startled us into
silence. It would any one. Believe me, your
imperturbable man with perfect, cool,
self-possession does not exist. Man's a jumpy
thing, given to nerves. You may deny it and
talk about the unexcitability of the American
citizen and all that bunk, but let me tell you
that your journalists and moving picture
producers and preachers and politicians have
caught on to the fact that man is jumpy, and
they trade on their discovery, believe me.
They've got man on the hop every which way
and keep him going.
"Above the lintel was carved one of those running lizards. That you noticed early. You can't see that in the picture because we took that from the edge of a broken wall. You see, all the walls stood except that to the left of this doorway and that had partly fallen and what was left was chin high. We saw at a glance that the people who had built that temple were handy with tools. The stones of the wall were quite big two feet or more square, and fitted closely. There was no mortar to hold them but the ends had been made with alternate grooves and projections that fitted well. The stone was a kind of red-sand stone. But I told you that before.
"When we looked over the broken wall and
saw that stone lizard, we had another shock. I
don't care how you school yourself, there's a
scare in every man. That's what annoys me, to
see men posing and letting themselves be written
up and speechified over as fearless. Fearless
General this and Admiral that. Our fearless
boys in the trenches. It sickens me. Why the
whole race has been fed up on Fear for ages.
Fearlessness is impossible. Hell-fire, booger-men,
devils, witches, the wrath of God it's all
been fear. Things that we know nothing of and
have no proof of have been added to things that
we do know of that will hurt, and, on top of that
there has been the everlasting 'cuidado' lest you
say a word that will run foul of current opinion
so what wonder that man is scary? It's a
wonder that he's sane.
"That night I was a long time getting to sleep. The memory of the old hag and the bull-roarer was in my mind. I kept thinking of Ista too. It was a warmer night than usual, and, after the moon dropped, pitchy dark. I slept stripped as I generally do, with a light blanket across my legs so that I could find it if needed without waking up. "I awoke presently, feeling something run lightly and swiftly across my face. I thought it was a spider. It seemed to run in a zig-zag. Then feeling nothing more, I set it down to fancy and dropped off to sleep again, face turned towards that idol. Later, I felt the same kind of thing run across my neck. I knew it was no fancy then and my scare vanished because there was something to do. So I waited with my right hand poised to grab. I waited a long time, too, but I have lots of patience. Presently it ran down my body starting at my left shoulder and I brought down my hand at a venture, claw fashion, and caught the thing on the blanket. I felt the blanket rise and then fall again, just a little of course, as I lifted my hand with the thing in it, and by that knew that it had claws. You bet I held tight. It seemed to be hard and smooth. It was a wiry, wriggling thing, somewhat like a lizard. But it was much more vigorous than any lizard. I tried to crush it but could not. As to thickness, it seemed to be about the diameter of one of those lead pencils. It was like this I had it."
Rounds picked up a couple of lead pencils
from the desk and took my hand in his. He
told me to close my fist and then placed one
pencil lengthwise so that an end of it was
between my first and second finger and the
rubber tipped end lay across my wrist. The other
pencil he thrust crosswise so that the pointed
end stuck out between the second and third
finger and the blunt end between the index
finger and thumb.
"Somehow I ran against Somerfield before he
got another match struck and he swore at me,
saying that I had cut him. I knew that I had
touched him with my outstretched hand that
held the beast. I drew back my hand a little
and remembered afterwards that I then felt a
slight elastic resistance as if the thing that I
held had caught on to something, as it had
before to my blanket. Afterwards I found that
the thing had gotten Somerfield's neck. As he
struck another match, I saw the low place in the
wall and flung the thing away with a quick
jerk. You know the kind of a motion you'd
make getting rid of some unseen noxious thing
like that. That's how I never really saw the
beast and can only conjecture what it was like
from the feel of it.
"Next morning the bitten place had swollen up to the size of an apple and was a greenish yellow color. He was feeling sick and a bit feverish, so I made him comfortable after looking around to see whether there was anything to harm him in the court yard, and went to hunt water. I remember that I gave the head of the idol a kick with the flat of my foot for spite, as I passed it. Like a kid, that was, wasn't it? Now I was running back and forth all the morning with the canteen, for he drank a terrible quantity. His eyes grew bright too and his skin flushed. Towards noon he began to talk wild, imagining that he was at home. Then I judged it best to let him stay there in the temple, where he was, so to speak, corraled. Coming back shortly after from one water-hunting trip, I heard singing, and, looking over the wall, saw him sitting on the slab in front of the idol. He must have fancied that he had his kids before him for he was beating time with his hands and snapping his fingers and thumbs and singing:
"It was rotten to hear that out there, but I was half way glad to see him that way, knowing that he wasn't miserable. After a little, he quit his babbling and took more water; emptied the canteen in fact, so back I had to start for more.
"Returning, I found things changed. He was
going around crouched like a hunting Indian,
peering here and there, behind the idol then
across to the head, as if seeking someone. He
had the facon in his hand. 'Rounds stabbed
me,' he was saying. 'It was Rounds, damn
him, that killed me.' Over and over again he
said that. He was talking to invisible people,
creatures of his mad brain. One would have
thought, if one had not seen, that the temple
court was crowded with spectators. Then he
rose to his feet and, with the knife held close to
his breast, began walking round and round as
if seeking an outlet. He passed me once, he on
one side of the wall and I on the other, and he
looked me square in the eye, but never saw me.
So round and round he went with long strides,
knees bent and heels never touching the
ground. His eyes were fixed and staring and
his teeth clenched. Now and then he made
long, slashing stabs in the air with the facon.
Rounds ceased and fell to filling his pipe. I waited for him to commence, but he made as if to leave, but paused a moment at my desk to pick up and examine a piece of malachite. I felt it incumbent upon me to say something to relieve the tension that I felt. "I understand," said I. "It was a horrible necessity. It is a terrible thing to have to kill a fellow creature." "That wasn't a fellow creature," he said. "What I killed was not the partner I knew. Don't you understand?" "Yes, I understand," I replied. Then I asked, "Did you bury him?" "Bury him? What for? How?" Rounds seemed indignant. "How could I bury him in a stone paved court? How could I lift a dead man over a wall chin high?"
"Of course! Of course," I said. "I had
forgotten that. But to us who lead quiet lives, it
seems terrible to leave a dead man unburied."
(THE END) |
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