The Grim Jokist

      A first-class grim jokist has suddenly disappeared from the well-conducted district of Bethungra, not many miles from Albury. At this peaceful place there lived a police man, who being angry with an example of worthlessness named Ryan "ran" the gentleman "in" for assault. Ryan was mortified, his Australian Natives' Association blood, already simmering with sweltering weather, now began to boil. He determined to do something ghastly, something that would destroy for ever the sweet calm which represented the life of Constable Stewart, of Bethungra. The situation was fully considered, and he pointed out to himself what he was to forthwith do. With a deliberate idea in his head, he made his way to Albury, and there found several unemployed under takers considerably discomposed lit the general health of the community. He would see them separately. The first was a quiet inoffensive undertaker, with cheerful views on dead men and their market value. Mr. Ryan, with a wealth of pathos in his tones, informed tho blissful under taker of the death yesterday of Constable Stewart, of Bethungra. The shock was a pleasing one, and became intensified when the grim joker requested an "illigant" box, the best hcurso, and four horses to immediately proceed to Bethungra. Ryan said no more, but walked steadily towards a second coffin-builder, a hasty financier, and one thoroughly capable of doing business on the shortest notice. He got an order, and Mr. Ryan once more walked into the distance, and remained there. Now there was noise that day in the projected capital of Australia. Two establishments were busy over a job which was the cruel joke of a cantankerous man. In the cool of the evening two hearses, two coffins, and two sets of tour horses left the city of Albury. The destination was Bethungra, and one procession got there an hour before tho other. But the other got there just the same. The house of the policeman was approached, but there was no aspect of grief about the premises. The people of the village recognised a hearse as a novelty, and followed it through the silent streets. The undertaker marvelled at their surprise, and wondered why nobody sobbed in tho heart less locality. He drew up, and allowed his semi-dreamy eye to wander round. He wanted somebody to give further instructions re the coffin. He wanted tho exact locality at the corpse. His thoughts were suddenly sent adrift by the advent of the alleged dead constable, who was simply a sample of heroic vitality. There were doubts for a few moments who should explain. Finally, the whole of the grim particulars leaked out, and everything was satisfactorily explained, when the roadway was darkened in the distance by the coming of another grave procession — it was the other follow. By this time the entire population of Bethungra; was upon tho scene, and developments were watched with interest. Further explanations and oaths of vengeance ensued. The Albury police were communicated with and ordered to arrest the ruinous Ryan. But he was nowhere handy; indeed, it was discovered that he was proceeding with express haste to Queensland. Thus unsatisfactorily ended a grim joke of two coffins and a policeman.