An "Agony Column" Mystery
by Richard Dowling (1846-1898)
THE
first time I saw the advertisement on the 11th of June I took
little notice of it. A hundred like it appear every year. I should
have read it with complete indifference but that the two names
given in it, both Christian names, were those of one of my oldest
friends and his wife. Not that either he or she was old. Both were
young, and so was I then. Mark is not a very out-of-the-way name
for a man, and Minnie is certainly common for a woman, so there
was nothing extraordinary in Mark asking Minnie to come back
to him and promising all would be forgiven and forgotten.
My own name is Marcus, and my eye is naturally alert to catch
any name like my own. Hence "Mark" attracted my notice.
The second time I saw the advertisement in the "agony column"
I smiled. There was nothing amusing in it. Nothing could be
more bald and prosaic. But I knew a Mark and a Minnie who
were man and wife, and, to my mind, the most affectionate young
couple in London. They had married three years before, for love,
and I had spent a day with them no longer ago than a month back,
when there seemed to be the most complete accord between them.
I did not often meet the Fenchurches; they lived in the neighbourhood
of Regent's Park, 3 Shrewsbury Terrace, and I at Streatham.
Fenchurch was a landscape-painter, and in comfortable circumstances.
I was then assistant chemist in a large drug manufactory
in the East End. The distance between our homes prevented my
meeting Fenchurch oftener than about once in three months. Our
common hatred of letter-writing barred the use of the post more
than four times a year. Upon my return from Shrewsbury Terrace,
a month before the first advertisement of Mark to Minnie, I had
written. It was then mid-May, now it was mid-June, and the
chances were we should have no communication with one another
until the middle or latter end of August. They never came to
Streatham: I was a bachelor and always went to them.
The advertisement made its appearance a third time in the
"agony column" of the Standard, and then I was tempted to play a
mild and rather heavy joke on my old friend Fenchurch. It was,
I own, conceived more with a view to amusing his pretty, amiable
little wife than himself. Fenchurch treated me and my humble
attempts at humour with good-natured scorn, but his wife was
more tolerant of my efforts, and to think I might amuse her gave
me great comfort.
I cut out the advertisement and gummed it in a sheet of note
paper about half way down the page. Then I wrote:
"My dear Fenchurch, I do not know that ever in my life I got
a greater shock than when I read the advertisement from you to
Mrs. Fenchurch in the Standard this morning. Nothing but the
evidence of my own eyes would convince me such a miserable thing
could happen, and nothing but the cutting from the paper could
justify me in writing you. The matter is of course public
property.
"If Minnie, who left her home on Friday last, will return at
once, all will be forgiven by Mark."
"Can I do anything for you? If you want any one to track the
fugitive will you accept my services? Write me a line, anyway.
I will come and stay with you in your desolation if you wish me to
do so. Yours always most sincerely,
"MARCUS FALL."
As I posted my letter I fancied with a laugh his contemptuous
growl as he threw it across the breakfast-table to his gay,
good-humoured
little wife the next morning. I saw in fancy the
expression of uneasiness gather on her face and grow into alarm
as she read until she came to the printed matter; then the look of
mystification, and finally the smile with which she gathered that I
had offered to track her and bring her back to her deserted husband
and abandoned home!
I did not expect Fenchurch would enter heartily into the spirit
of my joke. I believe him to be at heart one of the most amiable
and considerate of men, but in manner he was often gruff and
satirical, and I felt now that (only the telegraph officials do not
allow the wires over which they preside to be contaminated by
intercourse with strong language) I should have a telegram from
him containing terms of great strength and vindictiveness before the
word "fool." I might, I thought, get a brief note from him telling
me he was glad Satan had found a job for idle hands, or that
he had secured handsome apartments for me in Bedlam, and I made
sure of receiving a pleasant and appreciative letter from Mrs.
Fenchurch containing some whimsical comment or suggestion.
Nothing could have been in worse taste than my act if I had not
up to that moment considered my friends' married life one of perfect
unity and happiness. I was always glad to go to the Fenchurches,
and among my other speculations I thought pleasantly that I might
be commanded by Mrs. Fenchurch to expiate my offence by dining
with them on some early day. If I got word they were both
coming to see me in my wild bachelor haunts at Streatham, or my
still more inaccessible lair in the East, I should not have been
surprised. I invented a hundred forms and phrases of reply and
reprisal, but I was wholly unprepared for what did happen. What.
occurred was this:
Nothing!
At first I felt chagrined, then offended, and finally alarmed.
I tried to calm myself by thinking my letter to him or their
letter to me had miscarried in the post. Against this explanation
was my experience. I had never in all my life lost any
letter in the post. When no letter reached me at Streatham the
evening after I had despatched mine, I said to myself they had
been away from Shrewsbury Terrace for the day, or by some unprecedented
chance addressed the letter to the East End works.
Next morning brought no news to Streatham, nor was anything
from Regent's Park awaiting me in the laboratory. Three
days went by, and Fenchurch made no sign. This would not do
at all. We were too old and too good friends to drift asunder
because of any foolish accident or misunderstanding.
The morning of the fourth day turning out a blank at both
my addresses, I left the works and set off to Regent's Park.
The advertisement had been now appearing daily for upwards
of a week.
As I drove westward in a hansom from Liverpool Street through
the unclouded blaze of the June morning, I felt far from easy,
and the nearer I drew to my goal the more uneasy I became. In the
face of my unanswered letter the coincidence between the names in
the newspapers and the names of my friends became alarming.
Nothing was more unlikely than that the Fenchurches should
have gone out of town for a week in the height of the London
season. The last time I had been at their place they had told me
they did not purpose leaving town until August, when they would
spend a month in Switzerland. I felt certain that if either was
ill the other would write.
In the glare of the summer sunlight my mind was more
gloomy than it had been for many a long day. The Fenchurches
were invested with additional interest in my mind by the fact that,
although they had a large circle of acquaintances in London, they
had few friends and no relatives. They were both from Yorkshire,
and had been born and brought up in the village of Yatworth,
four miles from the city of York. Mark had often told me he
had not a single relative of whom he knew, and I had always heard
his wife's nearest relative was an old aunt who lived in Yatworth.
Mrs. Fenchurch never spoke affectionately of her aunt, and I
knew that neither had been in the old village from the day Mark
went there to marry his pretty little bride, and fetch her to the
home he had made for her in Shrewsbury Terrace.
Mark positively loathed his wife's aunt. He always spoke of
her in terms of unlimited hatred. She kept a school, and Minnie
had assisted in that school. She had cheated and half starved his
little girl, he told me, and the only circumstances under which
he could ever look upon her with pleasure would be if she stood
in the dock receiving sentence for her accursed bad conduct to his
wife.
"Look here, Marcus," he said on one occasion, "I never was
in the Tower until after I was married, and in the holidays with
Min when we came back from Yorkshire I took her to the
Tower to show her where Henry VIII. chopped of Anna Boleyn's
head, to impress upon Min the marital power of man. When
they showed me the rack and thumbscrews I offered to buy them.
I'd have given all the world to be allowed, in the interests of
science, to experiment with them on Aunt Teresa for half an hour.
Painting a Dying Groan would have been nothing to it. If I had
had my way I could have photographed a Lost Soul."
"Your aunt," I said, "might not care for that kind of immortality.
I don't think she would. And did you show Mrs. Fenchurch
where they beheaded the unfortunate Queen?"
"I forget. They showed us where they murdered Lady Jane
Grey, and that put all about Anna Boleyn out of my mind. What
an unpardonable sin that was! When they showed me where
they killed the girl it appears I became violent, and used such
language to Min about the assassination of the poor child that
Min said she'd go back to Yatworth and live all her life with her
dear Aunt Teresa if ever she heard anything of the kind from me
again. But that was all bunkum."
As I drove along in my hansom I recalled Mark's account of
his visit to the Tower, and of his love of his Aunt Teresa by
marriage. From his sentiments towards his aunt, nothing could
be more unlikely than that he had gone on a visit to Yorkshire,
and I did not think he was close enough to any one else in all England
to go to his or her house. He was at Shrewsbury Terrace,
Yatworth, or in an hotel. But no matter where he was, why did
he not answer my letter? or why did not Mrs. Fenchurch write?
This was forcing a mere possibility about Yatworth into my
mind. I would have bet a hundred pounds to a penny he was
not there.
If I had made such a bet I should have won. As my cab
turned into Shrewsbury Terrace, I saw a tall, lightly built,
fair-haired young man walking slowly and reflectively up the steps
of No. 3. That was my old friend Mark Fenchurch going up the
steps of his own house in the bright, warm, white June sunshine.
As the cab drew up and I jumped out Fenchurch turned round.
By this time I was prepared for bad news of some kind; but for
nothing so bad as the spectacle of misery and wreck presented by
my friend. He was a remarkably handsome man of the fair-haired
type, with tawny beard and moustache, white and red skin and full
blue eyes. He was of slender and elegant figure, and much above
the average height. Of old he had been careful, almost dandyish,
in his dress. Now he was pallid and worn. His hair was unkempt,
his beard and moustaches untrimmed, uncombed, his hat
dull and glossless, his dark blue frock-coat unbrushed, unbuttoned,
and wanting the customary flower in the button-hole, his trousers
an old working pair with studio stains upon them, his boots not only
unpolished, but furry and brown. What could have happened?
He started on recognising me and looked hastily up and down
the road as though he would flee if opportunity allowed flight. He
could not escape me. He pushed his hat over his eyes and rested
his left elbow against the pillars of the porch.
I ran up the steps and took his hand and shook it in silence.
"I did not want to see you, Marcus. I do not want to see any
one I know. But since you are here, come in." He opened the
door with his latch-key and we both entered the hall.
That hall, which used to be as neat as hands could make it,
was in a state of neglect, litter, dirt. On the rack and stand
and table and chairs the dust lay white and thick. The umbrellas
and sticks were scattered on the floor and in the corners. The
door had been wrenched off the letter-box, and a great pile of
newspapers and letters lay under the slit. The broken splices of
a fishing-rod were under my feet. An opera-glass had fallen from
a peg, burst from its case, and shot under the table. The shade
of the lamp was smashed, and glittered in a hundred fragments
on the oil-cloth.
"Let us go to the studio; there is no one in the house," he said,
and led the way without removing his hat.
In silence, and cold and sick with fears, I followed him through
the front hall, through the back hall, and down the sloping passage
that led to the studio an independent building without the walls
of the house.
This miserable condition of things needed, most unfortunately,
no explanation beyond that afforded by the advertisement. Mrs.
Fenchurch had left Mark, he did not know whither she had gone,
and she had practically refused to return to her home.
The studio was in its ordinary state of litter, nothing more,
There were flowers still in the vases, but the flowers were faded
and brown and dry, and beneath each cluster lay bleached petals
and shrivelled leaves.
Mark threw himself into a rocking-chair; I took a seat on a
couch under the great northern light high up in the wall. He
cleared his throat several times without essaying to speak, filled a
pipe elaborately, nervously, and put it in his mouth without
lighting it. He drew at the pipe for a while fiercely, and then
with a start became aware of his omission. He turned round
fully to me and said, "Have you got a match? I don't know
where to find one. My wife has left me, and I have kicked the
– servants out of the house."
"I have a match. Here you are. Your wife left you, Mark!
That's very bad. I won't ask you, Are you serious?"
"No," he said, "you needn't ask me, Am I serious? I don"t
look like a man up to jokes, do I?" In what horrible taste my
joke must seem to him now!
"No, you do not. That's the wrong end of the match you're
striking."
"Ah, so it is! I seem to get hold of the wrong end of everything."
He had now lighted his pipe, and thrown himself back in his
chair with his profile to me. His eyes winked nervously, as
though irritated by the smoke. His mouth twitched as if the pipe
worried him. He rubbed the corner of his eye hastily with his
finger, and knocked his pipe against the ash-tray before the
tobacco in the bowl had turned white. His eyes were fixed
straight before him, and he seemed to have made up his mind
not to speak first.
There was not a sound. I looked at the bracket on which the
clock stood. It was seven minutes to six; the pendulum had ceased
to swing. I was appalled by the spectacle of this strong man's agony.
I was tortured by remorse at the memory of my jocose letter. I
would have given the world then that I had never succumbed to
the foolish temptation of writing it. Nothing could be more
selfish than to think of my own trouble about that letter now. By
an effort of great force of will I banished that letter from my
mind wholly, and concentrated my whole thought on this man.
The silence was becoming unsupportable, and it would be
an outrage to affect an interest in any subject but that occupying
both our minds to the exclusion of any other. I had a disquieting
presentiment that when I did essay to speak my voice would be
husky or unsteady. To my agreeable surprise I found it clear
and under perfect control.
"When did this happen, Mark?" I asked.
"This day fortnight. She left the house this day fortnight,
and I have never heard a word of her since."
"Have you spoken to any one about the matter?"
"No. I have not opened my mouth to a soul about it, except
what I have said to you since you came into this house."
"Mark, we know one another too well for either of us to be in
danger of misunderstanding the other. You know I am not
merely inquisitive. Talk to me. Tell me. Open your mind to
me. For, Mark, I would give my life for you or for her."
He took his pipe out of his mouth and flung it against the
wall opposite me. The red tobacco fell out and lay smouldering
on the boards, a slender blue blade of smoke rising up from it, and
when hip-high, swelling out like the basket of a sword. He
leaned forward in his chair and bent down, resting his elbows on
his knees and his temples on his palms. I waited. He took some
minutes, his body swaying softly to and fro during the time.
"We had a quarrel or a difference rather. She said she
would do a certain thing. I forbade her doing it. She said she
would do it whether I wished or no, and I told her if she did we
should never again be friends. Upon that she went, and upon
that she has stayed away. That's all." He threw himself up into
an erect position, caught hold of the elbows of his chair, and looked
straight into my face with a strange, uncertain smile.
"You did not mean what you said when you told her you could
never be friends again?"
"At the time I did, or thought I did; I lost my temper. An
hour after I did not mean it but she was gone then."
"Where? Where had she gone to?"
"To Yatworth. To her aunt."
"She went straight there?"
"So I think. So I believe."
"What was it she said she'd do that you told her would would
be unpleasant between her and you?"
"This day fortnight she got a telegram saying her aunt at
Yatworth was very ill. She said she would go to Yatworth. You
know how her aunt treated her. I told her she should not go.
She insisted. That was the cause of the quarrel."
"Did you tell her if she went she was not to come back here
again?"
"No. I simply said we should never be friends again."
"No doubt she took that as meaning she would not be welcome
back here again."
"The words I used were ridiculously out of proportion to the
occasion. I was in a rage. But such words are often used by
people once a week, once a month, once a year who really do
not mean them anything like literally. You know her aunt treated
her abominably robbed her and starved her, and made all the
mischief she could between her and me." He threw himself
back in his chair and groaned.
"I know," I said. Then there was another pause of some
minutes.
I could not make it out clearly. My head was confused. No
doubt my excitement and anxiety impeded my apprehension and
perplexed my thought. How was it if he knew from the beginning
where she was that he could not write to her or telegraph to her
instead of advertising?
"She is still at Yatworth, Mark?"
"As far as I know, yes."
It would be simply criminal to allow the best man and the
best woman I knew to persist in stupidity such as this. In that
odious letter of mine I had jocularly offered to go in search of
the errant wife. If notions of foolish pride kept him from seeking
her and persuading her to come back to her home and to him, I had
no such feeling, and no matter what he might think of me I would
attempt it. I might as well, however, know a little more of the
affair first.
"Have you written to her since she left?" I asked.
He fidgeted uneasily in the chair for a few seconds before answering.
His expression was unsettled, uneasy. "Wait a minute,"
he said. "Let me put it before you as it is before me. I did not
mean to be confidential, but as I have spoken I may as well be
quite open. I do not care to talk much of my private affairs or
my own feelings. But in this matter the affair is not all my own."
He picked up another pipe off the little table beside him, lit
it and went on: "She did not tell me in words that she was going
straight out of this to Yatworth at the time she left the house.
She packed her big trunk and took it with her. I knew she was
gone to her aunt's, and although my temper had cooled before she
drove away I did not come back to the house. I did not see
her start. I thought that in a day or two I would write to her
and tell her I had been hasty and did not mean what I said."
"You did write?"
"Yes. On the third day I wrote a calm letter saying I was
sorry we had quarrelled, and although I still disapproved of
her firmness and objected to her staying with her aunt, I was willing
to forgive her and make friends again."
"And you got a reply?"
"Here it is." He pulled a tattered telegram out of his pocket
and handed it to me. I flattened it out and with some difficulty
read, "After what has been done I can never see you or go back
to London." The name of the addressor and addressee were given
in initials only.
"There are only initials in this," I said. "How do you know
it was sent by her?"
"I wrote again. I enclosed that telegram. I asked was it
hers or some genial trick of dear aunt Teresa. Turn the telegram
over and you will see the only reply she made."
"I am quite serious. This is my telegram. Pray, do not continue
to persecute M. F." That was all. "What was the persecution?"
I asked.
He shrugged his shoulders dismally. "Merely that I wrote my
wife asking her to repudiate the telegram. You see there was
no longer any hope. So I discharged the servants on the spot and
have lived by myself and to myself ever since, and I have never
spent any time in such hideous company. Marcus, I shall go
mad." He got up out of his chair and began pacing up and down
the studio with eyes bent upon the floor and moody eyebrows
drawn low.
I felt that now was my time. Hateful as the mere memory of
my letter was I must refer to that letter now, if I hoped to be of
use. "I know, Mark," I said, "that nothing could have seemed in
worse taste than the letter I wrote you, but I had then not the
faintest suspicion anything was wrong. If I had I would rather
have cut off my hand than let it take part in what must have
seemed a barbarous, an inhuman impertinence on my part, but
–"
"What are you talking about?" he asked, pausing in his walk
and standing over me.
"I am talking of the letter I wrote you five or six days ago."
"Oh, the letter you wrote me a few days ago," he said as he
resumed his walk; "I saw it, but I did not open it."
"Thank heaven for that!" I exclaimed with a feeling of unutterable
relief.
"No," he went on, not heeding my words, "since I got that
telegram back from her I have opened no letters. I saw yours.
It and a dozen others are on the floor in the hall. When I got
that telegram back from her, I think I went mad I know I went
mad for a while. I knocked about all the things I could lay hands
on. Even your letter I could not endure to read. Marcus, was
there anything important in it?"
"No," I answered; "it was a foolish letter and I'll take it away
or destroy it. I am most sincerely glad you did not open it. I
should never forgive myself for having written it if you had read
it in your trouble. You would have thought me one of the most
inhuman of brutes."
"The most inhuman of brutes! What on earth would have
put such a monstrous notion in my head? I know you are serious,
but your words sound very strange. I must get the letter and see
now." He moved towards the door.
"No no. You must do nothing of the kind. I am still in
confusion. I can't understand why you put that advertisement
in the 'agony column' if you knew all along where Mrs. Fenchurch
was. My letter was written in the belief the advertisement had
nothing to do with you."
"Advertisement of mine in the 'agony column'! Of what
paper?"
"I saw it in the Standard."
"What was it?"
"'If Minnie, who left her home on Friday last, will return, all
will be forgiven by Mark.'"
"What!" he shouted in rage and amazement.
I repeated the advertisement.
"What friend did this? What miscreant published the story
of my misery? What traitor sold the secret of my innermost
heart?"
For a while he stormed and raged like a maniac. I did not
try to soothe him. I was myself in a state of high excitement.
Though he did not say so in explicit words, it was plain be had
nothing to do with the appearance of the advertisement.
When he became calmer I explained that I knew nothing of
the published appeal beyond seeing it in the paper. He swore not
a soul but me knew up to the moment we were speaking that his
wife had left his roof against his will, unless she had told some one,
and it was not likely she would seek a confidant in London on her
way to the train for the North. Besides, if she did, what could be
the object of such an advertisement? The servants had heard not
a word of the quarrel and had parted on good terms with Mark.
He had paid them more than their month's money, and told them
his reason for letting them go was that unexpectedly Mrs. Fenchurch
was obliged to go to Yorkshire because of the illness of her
aunt, and he must leave London too for an indefinite time.
Malice was out of the question. There was not, be thought,
in all the world a man who owed him a grudge, and no one but an
unprincipled scoundrel who hated him to the death could dream
of invading the sanctity of his home by such a vile and cowardly
device. It must be a coincidence. It could be nothing but a
coincidence!
Then he softened all at once.
"What!" he cried, "drag my girl's name through the mire in
that way! Why, if I were capable of such a piece of low villany
as that I would deserve all I have suffered more than I have
suffered! What must the people who saw it have thought?
Why, it's no better than the prelude to a case in the divorce court.
Good God, my poor girl!"
Suddenly a thought flashed into my mind. I jumped to my
feet with a shout of delight and caught hold of Marks. "I have
it! I have it! I have the key to the secret, the clue to the
mystery!"
"Out with it, man! Can"t you speak?"
"She has seen it."
"Who? Who has seen what?"
"Your wife has seen the advertisement and believes it is
yours."
He fell against the wall as if he had been struck by a bullet.
"Minnie has seen the advertisement and believes that I put it in
the paper!"
"She left this house on this day fortnight. The next day this
advertisement appears. It continued to appear for upwards of a
week. She sees it, and, as it has her Christian name and yours,
and the day and fact of the flight correspond with the day and
fact of her own flight, she could have thought nothing else but
that the advertisement was yours. When she gets your letter
she is broken-hearted at finding the particulars of her case in a
public print. She decides she can no longer have anything to do
with you, when you, as she imagines, parade her fault and give
date and name. Naturally she concludes you can no longer
care anything for her. Naturally she shrinks from the idea of
facing London when she imagines every one that she knows has
heard the story and seen the advertisement. She sees you
pointing the finger of scorn at her, and all the world of hers
looking on. Can you not see it now?"
With a groan he staggered away from the wall and fell into a
chair.
"Oh, my poor darling!"
"Many a woman would have died in the dereliction and
ignominy."
"Stop, Marcus! for God's sake, don"t." He bent his head and
seized it between his hands.
"Many a woman would have committed suicide."
He looked up at me with distended eyes. His cheek was
corpse-white. His mouth open. His jaw dropped. He
whispered, "Don't, don't, my friend. My reason is going."
"I wonder is she dead."
"You wonder is who dead, Marcus?"
"Your Minnie."
"I understand. You think she may be dead by this time?"
"I think you ought to go to Yatworth at once."
"I will. Now."
"That's right. Will you go to your room and change your
clothes before you go?"
"Oh, no. I'm all right. Marcus, will you do a favour for
me?"
"Certainly."
"Stay here until! until we come back. Just to keep the
place home-like with a face she knows for her coming."
"I will stay, Mark."
"And and if any letters come for her put them on the table
in the drawing-room no, put them on the table in our bedroom.
You know the room."
I could not speak.
"She'll get them there when she runs upstairs and I'll come
here to you and we'll smoke a pipe. Damn it, man, you're crying.
I'll go at once. Good-bye, Marcus."
The next evening we smoked that pipe together in the studio.
No letter had come for Mrs. Fenchurch.
"Are you tired after the journey?" I asked.
"No. I think Min is a little. She said she'd be down in a
few minutes to get us some tea. I think we'll have it here.
Have you got any more of those matches?" The door opened
quickly. "Here's Min!"
RICHARD DOWLING.
(THE END)