THE LITTLE ROOM.
BY MADELENE YALE WYNNE.
[actually: Madeline Yale Wynne]
(1847-1918)
HOW
would it do for a smoking room?"
"Just the very place; only, you know,
Roger, you must not think of smoking in
the house. I am almost afraid having
just a plain common man around, let
alone a smoking-man, will upset Aunt
Hannah. She is New England
Vermont New England boiled down."
"You leave Aunt Hannah to me; I
shall find her tender side. I am going to
ask her about the old sea-captain and the
yellow calico."
"Not yellow calico blue chintz."
"Well, yellow shell, then."
"No, no! don't mix it up so; you won't
know yourself what to expect, and that's
half the fun."
"Now you tell me again exactly what
to expect; to tell the truth, I didn't half
hear about it the other day; I was
wool-gathering. It was something queer that
happened when you were a child, wasn't
it?"
"Something that began to happen long
before that, and kept happening, and may
happen again; but I hope not."
"What was it?"
"I wonder if the other people in the
car can hear us?"
"I fancy not; we don't hear them not
consecutively, at least."
"Well, mother was born in Vermont,
you know; she was the only child by a
second marriage. Aunt Hannah and
Aunt Maria are only half-aunts to me,
you know."
"I hope they are half as nice as you
are."
"Roger, be still; they certainly will
hear us."
"Well, don't you want them to know
we are married?"
"Yes, but not just married. There's
all the difference in the world."
"You are afraid we look too happy!"
"No; only I want my happiness all to
myself."
"Well, the little room?"
"My aunts brought mother up; they
were nearly twenty years older than she.
I might say Hiram and they brought her
up. You see, Hiram was bound out to
my grandfather when he was a boy, and
when grandfather died Hiram said he
'sposed he went with the farm, 'long o'
the critters," and he has been there ever
since. He was my mother's only refuge
from the decorum of my aunts. They
are simply workers. They make me think
of the Maine woman who wanted her
epitaph to be, "She was a hard working
woman.'"
"They must be almost beyond their
working-days. How old are they?"
"Seventy, or thereabouts; but they
will die standing; or, at least, on a
Saturday night, after all the house-work is done
up. They were rather strict with mother,
and I think she had a lonely childhood.
The house is almost a mile away from any
neighbors, and off on top of what they
call Stony Hill. It is bleak enough up
there even in summer.
"When mamma was about ten years
old they sent her to cousins in Brooklyn,
who had children of their own, and knew
more about bringing them up. She staid
there till she was married; she didn't go
to Vermont in all that time, and of
course hadn't seen her sisters, for they
never would leave home for a day. They
couldn't even be induced to go to Brooklyn
to her wedding, so she and father
took their wedding trip up there."
"And that's why we are going up there
on our own?"
"Don't, Roger; you have no idea how
loud you speak."
"You never say so except when I am
going to say that one little word."
"Well, don't say it, then, or say it very,
very quietly."
"Well, what was the queer thing?"
"When they got to the house, mother
wanted to take father right off into the
little room; she had been telling him
about it, just as I am going to tell you,
and she had said that of all the rooms,
that one was the only one that seemed
pleasant to her. She described the
furniture and the books and paper and every
thing, and said it was on the north side,
between the front and back room. Well,
when they went to look for it, there was
no little room there; there was only a
shallow china-closet. She asked her
sisters when the house had been altered and
a closet made of the room that used to be
there. They both said the house was exactly
as it had been built that they had
never made any changes, except to tear
down the old wood-shed and build a
smaller one.
"Father and mother laughed a good
deal over it, and when anything was
lost they would always say it must be
in the little room, and any exaggerated
statement was called 'little-roomy.'
When I was a child I thought that was
a regular English phrase, I heard it so
often.
"Well, they talked it over, and finally
they concluded that my mother had been
a very imaginative sort of a child, and
had read in some book about such a little
room, or perhaps even dreamed it, and
then had 'made believe,' as children do,
till she herself had really thought the
room was there."
"Why, of course, that might easily
happen."
"Yes, but you haven't heard the queer
part yet; you wait and see if you can
explain the rest as easily.
"They staid at the farm two weeks,
and then went to New York to live.
When I was eight years old my father
was killed in the war, and mother was
broken-hearted. She never was quite
strong afterwards, and that summer we
decided to go up to the farm for three
months.
"I was a restless sort of a child, and
the journey seemed very long to me; and
finally, to pass the time, mamma told me
the story of the little room, and how
it was all in her own imagination, and
how there really was only a china-closet
there.
"She told it with all the particulars;
and even to me, who knew beforehand
that the room wasn't there, it seemed just
as real as could be. She said it was on
the north side, between the front and back
rooms; that it was very small, and they
sometimes called it an entry. There was
a door also that opened out-of-doors, and
that one was painted green, and was cut
in the middle like the old Dutch doors,
so that it could be used for a window by
opening the top part only. Directly
opposite the door was a lounge or couch;
it was covered with blue chintz India
chintz some that had been brought over
by an old Salem sea-captain as a
'venture.' He had given it to Maria when she
was a young girl. She was sent to Salem
for two years to school. Grandfather
originally came from Salem."
"I thought there wasn't any room or
chintz."
"That is just it. They had decided
that mother had imagined it all, and yet
you see how exactly everything was
painted in her mind, for she had even
remembered that Hiram had told her that
Maria could have married the sea-captain
if she had wanted to!
"The India cotton was the regular blue
stamped chintz, with the peacock figure
on it. The head and body of the bird
were in profile, while the tail was full
front view behind it. It had seemed to
take mamma's fancy, and she drew it for
me on a piece of paper as she talked.
Doesn't it seem strange to you that she
could have made all that up, or even
dreamed it?
"At the foot of the lounge were some
hanging shelves with some old books on
them. All the books were leather-colored
except one; that was bright red, and was
called the Ladies' Album. It made a
bright break between the other thicker
books.
"On the lower shelf was a beautiful
pink sea-shell, lying on a mat made of
balls of red shaded worsted. This shell
was greatly coveted by mother, but she
was only allowed to play with it when
she had been particularly good. Hiram
had showed her how to hold it close to
her ear and hear the roar of the sea in it.
"I know you will like Hiram, Roger,
he is quite a character in his way.
"Mamma said she remembered, or
thought she remembered, having been
sick once, and she had to lie quietly for
some days on the lounge; then was the
time she had become so familiar with
everything in the room, and she had been
allowed to have the shell to play with all
the time. She had had her toast brought
to her in there, with make-believe tea. It
was one of her pleasant memories of her
childhood; it was the first time she had
been of any importance to anybody, even
herself.
"Right at the head of the lounge was
a light-stand, as they called it, and on it
was a very brightly polished brass candle-stick
and a brass tray, with snuffers. That
is all I remember of her describing, except
that there was a braided rag rug on
the floor, and on the wall was a beautiful
flowered paperroses and morning-glories
in a wreath on a light blue ground.
The same paper was in the front room."
"And all this never existed except in
her imagination?"
"She said that when she and father
went up there, there wasn't any little
room at all like it anywhere in the house;
there was a china-closet where she had
believed the room to be."
"And your aunts said there had never
been any such room."
"That is what they said."
"Wasn't there any blue chintz in the
house with a peacock figure?"
"Not a scrap, and Aunt Hannah said
there had never been any that she could
remember; and Maria just echoed her
she always does that. You see, Aunt
Hannah is an up-and-down New England
woman. She looks just like herself;
I mean, just like her character. Her joints
move up and down or backward and forward
in a plain square fashion. I don't
believe she ever leaned on anything in
her life, or sat in an easy-chair. But
Maria is different; she is rounder and
softer; she hasn't any ideas of her own;
she never had any. I don't believe she
would think it right or becoming to have
one that differed from Aunt Hannah's,
so what would be the use of having any?
She is an echo, that's all.
"When mamma and I got there, of
course I was all excitement to see the
china-closet, and I had a sort of feeling
that it would be the little room after all.
So I ran ahead and threw open the door,
crying, 'Come and see the little room.'
"And, Roger," said Mrs. Grant, laying
her hand in his, "there really was a
little room there, exactly as mother had
remembered it. There was the lounge, the
peacock chintz, the green door, the shell,
the morning-glory and rose paper,
everything exactly as she had described
it to me."
"What in the world did the sisters say
about it?"
"Wait a minute and I will tell you.
My mother was in the front hall still
talking with Aunt Hannah. She didn't hear
me at first, but I ran out there and dragged
her through the front room, saying, 'The
room is here it is all right.'
"It seemed for a minute as if my mother
would faint. She clung to me in terror.
I can remember now how strained
her eyes looked and how pale she was.
"I called out to Aunt Hannah and
asked her when they had had the closet
taken away and the little room built; for
in my excitement I thought that that was
what had been done.
"'That little room has always been
there,' said Aunt Hannah, 'ever since
the house was built.'
"'But mamma said there wasn't any
little room here, only a china-closet, when
she was here with papa,' said I.
"'No, there has never been any china
closet there; it has always been just as it
is now,' said Aunt Hannah.
"Then mother spoke; her voice sounded
weak and far off. She said, slowly, and
with an effort, 'Maria, don't you remember
that you told me that there had never
been any little room here? and Hannah
said so too, and then I said I must have
dreamed it?'
"'No, I don't remember anything of
the kind,' said Maria, without the
slightest emotion. 'I don't remember you
ever said anything about any china-closet. The house has never been altered;
you used to play in this room when you
were a child, don't you remember?'
"'I know it,' said mother, in that queer
slow voice that made me feel frightened.
'Hannah, don't you remember my finding
the china-closet here, with the gilt-edged
china on the shelves, and then you
said that the china-closet had always
been here?'
"'No,' said Hannah, pleasantly but
unemotionally 'no, I don't think you ever
asked me about any china-closet, and we
haven't any gilt-edged china that I know
of.'
"And that was the strangest thing
about it. We never could make them
remember that there had ever been any
question about it. You would think they
could remember how surprised mother
had been before, unless she had imagined
the whole thing. Oh, it was so queer!
They were always pleasant about it, but
they didn't seem to feel any interest or
curiosity. It was always this answer:
'The house is just as it was built; there
have never been any changes, so far as
we know.'
"And my mother was in an agony of
perplexity. How cold their gray eyes
looked to me! There was no reading
anything in them. It just seemed to break
my mother down, this queer thing. Many
times that summer, in the middle of the
night, I have seen her get up and take a
candle and creep softly down stairs. I
could hear the steps creak under her
weight. Then she would go through the
front room and peer into the darkness,
holding her thin hand between the candle
and her eyes. She seemed to think
the little room might vanish. Then she
would come back to bed and toss about
all night, or lie still and shiver; it used
to frighten me.
"She grew pale and thin, and she had
a little cough; then she did not like to be
left alone. Sometimes she would make
errands in order to send me to the little
room for something a book, or her fan,
or her handkerchief; but she would never
sit there or let me stay in there long, and
sometimes she wouldn't let me go in
there for days together. Oh, it was pitiful!"
"Well, don't talk any more about it,
Margaret, if it makes you feel so," said
Mr. Grant.
"Oh yes, I want you to know all
about it, and there isn't much more no
more about the room.
"Mother never got well, and she died
that autumn. She used often to sigh, and
say, with a wan little laugh, 'There
is one thing I am glad of, Margaret: your
father knows now all about the little
room.' I think she was afraid I
distrusted her. Of course, in a child's way,
I thought there was something queer
about it, but I did not brood over it. I
was too young then, and took it as a
part of her illness. But, Roger, do you
know, it really did affect me. I almost
hate to go there after talking about it;
I somehow feel as if it might, you know, be
a china-closet again."
"That's an absurd idea."
"I know it; of course it can't be. I
saw the room, and there isn't any china
closet there, and no gilt-edged china in
the house, either."
And then she whispered, "But, Roger,
you may hold my hand as you do now,
if you will, when we go to look for the
little room."
"And you won't mind Aunt Hannah's
gray eyes?"
"I won't mind anything."
It was dusk when Mr. and Mrs. Grant
went into the gate under the two old
Lombardy poplars and walked up the narrow
path to the door, where they were met by
the two aunts.
Hannah gave Mrs. Grant a frigid but
not unfriendly kiss; and Maria seemed
for a moment to tremble on the verge of
an emotion, but she glanced at Hannah,
and then gave her greeting in exactly
the same repressed and non-committal
way.
Supper was waiting for them. On the
table was the gilt-edged china. Mrs.
Grant didn't notice it immediately, till
she saw her husband smiling at her
over his teacup; then she felt fidgety,
and couldn't eat. She was nervous,
and kept wondering what was behind
her, whether it would be a little room or
a closet.
After supper she offered to help about
the dishes, but, mercy! she might as well
have offered to help bring the seasons
round; Maria and Hannah couldn't be
helped.
So she and her husband went to find
the little room, or closet, or whatever was
to be there.
Aunt Maria followed them, carrying
the lamp, which she set down, and then
went back to the dish-washing.
Margaret looked at her husband. He
kissed her, for she seemed troubled; and
then, hand in hand, they opened the door.
It opened into a china-closet. The shelves
were neatly draped with scalloped paper;
on them was the gilt-edged china, with
the dishes missing that had been used at
the supper, and which at that moment
were being carefully washed and wiped
by the two aunts.
Margaret's husband dropped her hand
and looked at her. She was trembling a
little, and turned to him for help, for
some explanation, but in an instant she
knew that something was wrong. A
cloud had come between them; he was
hurt; he was antagonized.
He paused for an appreciable instant,
and then said, kindly enough, but in a
voice that cut her deeply,
"I am glad this ridiculous thing is
ended; don't let us speak of it again."
"Ended!" said she. "How ended?"
And somehow her voice sounded to her
as her mother's voice had when she stood
there and questioned her sisters about the
little room. She seemed to have to drag
her words out. She spoke slowly: "It
seems to me to have only just begun in
my case. It was just so with mother
when she "
"I really wish, Margaret, you would
let it drop. I don't like to hear you speak
of your mother in connection with
it. It " He hesitated, for was not this their
wedding-day? "It doesn't seem quite the
thing, quite delicate, you know, to use her
name in the matter."
She saw it all now: he didn't believe
her. She felt a chill sense of withering
under his glance.
"Come," he added, "let us go out, or
into the dining-room, somewhere, any
where, only drop this nonsense."
He went out; he did not take her hand
now he was vexed, baffled, hurt. Had
he not given her his sympathy, his attention,
his belief and his hand? and she
was fooling him. What did it mean?
she so truthful, so free from morbidness
a thing he hated. He walked up and
down under the poplars, trying to get
into the mood to go and join her in the
house.
Margaret heard him go out; then she
turned and shook the shelves; she reached
her hand behind them and tried to
push the boards away; she ran out of the
house on to the north side and tried to
find in the darkness, with her hands, a
door, or some steps leading to one. She
tore her dress on the old rose-trees, she
fell and rose and stumbled, then she sat
down on the ground and tried to think.
What could she think was she dreaming?
She went into the house and out into
the kitchen, and begged Aunt Maria to
tell her about the little room what had
become of it, when had they built the
closet, when had they bought the
gilt-edged china?
They went on washing dishes and drying
them on the spotless towels with methodical
exactness; and as they worked
they said that there had never been any
little room, so far as they knew; the
china-closet had always been there, and the
gilt-edged china had belonged to their
mother, it had always been in the house.
"No, I don't remember that your mother
ever asked about any little room,"
said Hannah. "She didn't seem very well
that summer, but she never asked about
any changes in the house; there hadn't
ever been any changes."
There it was again: not a sign of interest,
curiosity, or annoyance, not a spark
of memory.
She went out to Hiram. He was telling
Mr. Grant about the farm. She had
meant to ask him about the room, but
her lips were sealed before her husband.
Months afterwards, when time had lessened
the sharpness of their feelings, they
learned to speculate reasonably about the
phenomenon, which Mr. Grant had accepted
as something not to be scoffed
away, not to be treated as a poor joke,
but to be put aside as something inexplicable
on any ordinary theory.
Margaret alone in her heart knew that
her mother's words carried a deeper
significance than she had dreamed of at the
time. "One thing I am glad of, your
father knows now," and she wondered if
Roger or she would ever know.
Five years later they were going to
Europe. The packing was done; the children
were lying asleep, with their travelling
things ready to be slipped on for an
early start.
Roger had a foreign appointment. They
were not to be back in America for some
years. She had meant to go up to say
good-by to her aunts; but a mother of
three children intends to do a great many
things that never get done. One thing
she had done that very day, and as she
paused for a moment between the writing
of two notes that must be posted before
she went to bed, she said:
"Roger, you remember Rita Lash?
Well, she and Cousin Nan go up to the
Adirondacks every autumn. They are
clever girls, and I have intrusted to them
something I want done very much."
"They are the girls to do it, then, every
inch of them."
"I know it, and they are going to."
"Well?"
"Why, you see, Roger, that little
room "
"Oh "
"Yes, I was a coward not to go myself,
but I didn't find time, because I
hadn't the courage."
"Oh! that was it, was it?"
"Yes, just that. They are going, and
they will write us about it."
"Want to bet?"
"No; I only want to know."
Rita Lash and Cousin Nan planned to
go to Vermont on their way to the
Adirondacks. They found they would have
three hours between trains, which would
give them time to drive up to the Keys
farm, and they could still get to the camp
that night. But, at the last minute, Rita
was prevented from going. Nan had to
go to meet the Adirondack party, and she
promised to telegraph her when she
arrived at the camp. Imagine Rita's
amusement when she received this message:
"Safely arrived; went to the Keys farm;
it is a little room."
Rita was amused, because she did not in
the least think Nan had been there. She
thought it was a hoax; but it put it into
her mind to carry the joke further by
really stopping herself when she went up,
as she meant to do the next week.
She did stop over. She introduced herself
to the two maiden ladies, who seemed
familiar, as they had been described by
Mrs. Grant.
They were, if not cordial, at least not
disconcerted at her visit, and willingly
showed her over the house. As they did
not speak of any other stranger's having
been to see them lately, she became
confirmed in her belief that Nan had not been
there.
In the north room she saw the roses
and morning-glory paper on the wall,
and also the door that should open into
what?
She asked if she might open it.
"Certainly," said Hannah; and Maria
echoed, "Certainly."
She opened it, and found the
china-closet. She experienced a certain relief;
she at least was not under any spell. Mrs.
Grant left it a china-closet; she found it
the same. Good.
But she tried to induce the old sisters
to remember that there had at various
times been certain questions relating to a
confusion as to whether the closet had
always been a closet. It was no use;
their stony eyes gave no sign.
Then she thought of the story of the
sea-captain, and said, "Miss Keys, did
you ever have a lounge covered with
India chintz, with a figure of a peacock
on it, given to you in Salem by a sea-captain,
who brought it from India?"
"I dun'no' as I ever did," said Hannah.
That was all. She thought Maria's
cheeks were a little flushed, but her
eyes were like a stone wall.
She went on that night to the Adirondacks.
When Nan and she were alone
in their room she said, "By-the-way, Nan,
what did you see at the farm-house? and
how did you like Maria and Hannah?"
Nan didn't mistrust that Rita had been
there, and she began excitedly to tell her
all about her visit. Rita could almost
have believed Nan had been there if she
hadn't known it was not so. She let her
go on for some time, enjoying her enthusiasm,
and the impressive way in which
she described her opening the door and
finding the "little room." Then Rita
said: "Now, Nan, that is enough fibbing.
I went to the farm myself on my way up
yesterday, and there is no little room, and
there never has been any; it is a
china-closet, just as Mrs. Grant saw it last."
She was pretending to be busy unpacking
her trunk, and did not look up for a
moment; but as Nan did not say anything,
she glanced at her over her shoulder.
Nan was actually pale, and it was
hard to say whether she was most angry
or frightened. There was something of
both in her look. And then Rita began
to explain how her telegram had put her
in the spirit of going up there alone. She
hadn't meant to cut Nan out. She only
thought Then Nan broke in: "It isn't
that; I am sure you can't think it is that.
But I went myself, and you did not go;
you can't have been there, for it is a
little room."
Oh, what a night they had! They
couldn't sleep. They talked and argued,
and then kept still for a while, only to
break out again, it was so absurd. They
both maintained that they had been there,
but both felt sure the other one was either
crazy or obstinate beyond reason. They
were wretched; it was perfectly ridiculous,
two friends at odds over such a
thing; but there it was "little room,"
"china-closet," "china-closet," "little
room."
The next morning Nan was tacking up
some tarlatan at a window to keep the
midges out. Rita offered to help her, as
she had done for the past ten years.
Nan's "No, thanks," cut her to the heart.
"Nan," said she, "come right down
from that stepladder and pack your
satchel. The stage leaves in just twenty
minutes. We can catch the afternoon
express train, and we will go together to
the farm. I am either going there or going
home. You better go with me."
Nan didn't say a word. She gathered
up the hammer and tacks, and was ready
to start when the stage came round.
It meant for them thirty miles of staging
and six hours of train, besides crossing
the lake; but what of that, compared
with having a lie lying round loose
between them! Europe would have seemed
easy to accomplish, if it would settle the
question.
At the little junction in Vermont they
found a farmer with a wagon full of
meal-bags. They asked him if he could
not take them up to the old Keys farm
and bring them back in time for the
return train, due in two hours.
They had planned to call it a sketching
trip, so they said, "We have been
there before, we are artists, and we might
find some views worth taking, and we
want also to make a short call upon the
Misses Keys."
"Did ye calculate to paint the old
house in the picture?"
They said it was possible they might do
so. They wanted to see it, anyway.
"Waal, I guess you are too late. The
house burnt down last night, and every
thing in it."
[THE END]