THE DOOR AJAR.
By HELEN MATHERS.
(pseud for Ellen Buckingham Mathews
1849-1920)
The door swung idly. In that unused western
wing of the great gloomy house, dust had gathered
thickly, but thickest on the threshold of that
partly open door that by the will of the former
owner of the place had never once been closed for
nearly seven years. For the will that disinherited
his only son, and made a cousin his heir, signified
in the terms of a command that the Cedar Room
should never be occupied, nor the door shut by
night nor day, and that free egress and
ingress should be allowed at all hours to the
repudiated heir when he should be released from the
term of imprisonment he was then undergoing.
There were yet five years to run of the son's
sentence when the father had died, and the new
owner of the Castle, who frankly preferred the
Berkeley-square house and a delightful apartment
in Paris to the gloomy splendours of a
place five miles from anywhere, very seldom came
near The
Towers at all, though, even had he
brought 50 guests, there would have been room
and to spare without that panelled room,
over-shadowed by the boughs of a great cedar tree
that looked in at its broad casement, and from
which it took its name.
Why was the door to be always, night and day,
left ajar? The door to the boy's mother's heart
had been open, wide open to the end; black
shame had slammed that of the father in the
son's face, and he had died at bitter enmity with
him, leaving him a beggar, and yielding most
unwillingly to the mother's dying entreaty: "Let
him have the right to his own room let him when
he is free, come here, and stand before my
portrait, and read in my eyes that I never doubted
him, never believed in his guilt, or even for one
moment ceased to love him; then let him go forth
again into the world, heartened up to face it, and
under a changed name wipe out the dishonour
that the guilt of another brought into his life,
and that other was a woman, else would he have
spoken out and cleared himself of the charge."
For the mother's instinct was unerring a bad
woman was at the bottom of it. Her "straight
boy" as she used to call him because he never
looked at a certain class of women, and had never
met a good one who pleased at once his fastidious
taste and his heart. His young mother and he
had always been chums and inseparable
companions until he went to Sandhurst, and he was
no more than a boy, just nineteen, when the crash
cams, and two years later she had closed her eyes
on a world of which the light for her was
extinguished. But a little while before she died,
while her attendants slept, she had come in the
grey of early morning to her boy's room, and
with gasping breath and failing limbs set herself
to do the thing that she willed to do, and she had
turned at the door to meet her own eyes in the
picture, and charged them solemnly with what
they should say to him when he came, and then
she had stolen away, and only by the dust upon
her wrapper did her women know she had left her
bed that night, though none knew whither she
had gone, or with what desperate fear she had
dreaded pursuit. And no one knew what was in
the long letter to her son which she caused to be
conveyed to him; and afterwards, when all her
magnificent jewels were found missing and a
great search and scandal were caused thereby, it
was supposed that she had found means to send
them away into safe hands that they might be
converted into money for her son when he
should be launched penniless on the world; it
was found too that she had realised her stocks
and shares and drawn out all her money in the
bank, but her man of business refused to say
whether he had been party to the matter, and the
money was her own to do with as she willed, and
Kenelm of Kenelm was a proud man, and would
make no inquiries, and none ever knew what he
thought about the matter.
And if the ruin of her boy broke the mother's
heart the loss of her broke her husband's, so that
in less than three years from the day when the
boy was found guilty of forging a brother-officer's
name the old family was wiped clean out of
Kenelm Towers, and the new one reigned in
absence, only sending now and again the daughter
of the house, a slip of a girl, with her governess
and maids, to dance lightly to and fro in the
wilderness of rooms, making a sunshine in the
old dusty place.
The old housekeeper, who had known young
Kenelm from his birth, was still there, and for a
long while, hers was the only foot that ever
crossed the threshold of the Cedar Room, where
she went to air, and clean, and straighten it, just
as if its owner might walk in at any minute, and
she never failed to test the window sash to see that
it moved smoothly up and down, for what if Mr
Kenelm should choose to enter by that way instead
of the door? Many a night, when set on some
boyish scheme of mischief, he had let himself out,
and climbed back to his chamber by the great
limbs of the cedar tree, for the room was at the
back of the Castle, and looked into a quiet court probably it was for this very reason that he loved
it, so sweet is freedom to the heart of a boy.
And always at the door Mrs March would
turn, and say, "Ma'am, I know the very day and
hour he will be free and he'll find me here to
meet him, come when he may;" and the mother's
eyes, would smile back with that eager, welcoming
look in them that the painter had so vividly
caught one day when she saw her baby toddling
towards her, and tears would roll down the waiting
woman's cheeks as she thought of how the two
pairs of eyes would meet . . . for she never doubted
that the boy would come the love between them
had been too intense to make the least wish of
one disregarded by the other, but she herself was
never to see that meeting between the quick and
the dead, for she died rather suddenly just six
months before the son came out of prison, fretting
bitterly that she had not been able to keep
faith with her beloved mistress.
But before that happened she had made friends
with the little girl who had shot up to be a maiden
during those infrequent visits to The Towers,
and there was no picture before which Letty
paused so often, and looked at so earnestly, as
that of young "Mr Kenelm," painted especially
for his proud mother in his first scarlet coat, and
which hung apart from all the rest in the
picture gallery.
"Had he no other name than Kenelm?" she
said one day as she and Mrs March stood before
it.
"Kenelm Kenelm, Miss Letty, so the eldest
son of the house was always named, and he was
the only one."
"It's a beautiful face," said the child
musingly, but when she was sixteen she said,
"it is a noble face," and at seventeen found
lines of sternness in the young soldier's features
that unconsciously subdued her, so that gradually
he passed into her mind as a hero, as one
who had a capacity for great deeds and might
have bean living a great life. With the single
eye of childhood she had early grasped, as Mrs
March could not, the purity of thought and
heart that underlay the vivid colour and brightness
of youth; other men's faces showed coarse
to her beside the memory of his, and, however long
her absences from The Towers, she never failed
to go and greet him on her return, and she secretly
made a sketch of him, and consulted it often, even
in all the turmoil of a first season.
And, strangely enough, she knew nothing of the
black stain that had wiped out all the glory of
the boy's life, for Mrs March's lips refused to
utter the truth, and without absolutely lying,
she had given the girl to understand that he was
dead. As Letty rarely saw her father, and
never had any real conversation with him, it
came to pass that when Mrs March lay a-dying,
and sent for her, she gave a solemn promise to do
a certain thing for the poor woman in pure ignorance
of what it meant, yet could never find it in
her heart to be angry because she was not told
the truth.
"Miss Letty," said the old woman with difficulty,
for already death was dealing with her,
"she will ask me when she sees me: 'How did
you keep your promise to me, Annie?' and I
shall have to say, 'My lady I was called and
had to come away, but I asked Miss Letty Miss
Letty '"
"Yes, yes," cried the girl, who was holding the
trembling figure up to her arms, "tell me quick
and I will do it."
"On Christmas Day (he comes out on Christmas
Eve, and will not waste a getting
here)," she muttered under her breath, "no
matter how gay you may be, and I hear the
master is to fill the Castle for the first time with
guests for the New Year get away by yourself
early in
the morning and slip into the west
wing, taking a bottle of wine, and bread and
meat, and set them there on the table under her
picture; but if you find the door locked and
barred do not seek to enter inside there will be
a soul in agony, alone with God and her "
She paused, and Letty wiped the sweat from
the stone-cold brow. She thought it but the
delirium of death, yet was resolved only to
comfort her, and promised again.
" tell no one least of all your father what
will be inside that room on Christmas morning
(for they two never broke faith with one another)
must not be disturbed . . . in the sky above,
in the earth below, there is no love like that love
. . . but, please God, you will get there first.
And when day is advanced steal secretly
there again . . . the place will be empty, the
door once more ajar . . . perchance the food
untouched, but her eyes will say to him, 'eat!'
and he will be sore and weary " the voice trailed
off; a few disconnected phrases followed, then for
a moment the life in her flared up, to meet Letty's
reiterated: "I promise," and then followed the
silence of the grave.
II.
Kenelm Towers showed through the darkness
like an illuminated and enchanted castle, whose
lights flashed a thousand reflections in the moat
below, and far along the countryside made a
beacon towards which turned many eyes and
hearts, for it was the first time its owner had come
hither with any state, and now he had brought
not only half a hundred guests with him, but had
bidden the whole county to come and share with
them his Christmas revels.
During that Christmas
Eve snow had fallen at
intervals, blotting out persistently the tracks made
by the carriages that had all day been busy in
conveying the rapidly arriving guests to the
Castle, and when all were safely housed the pure
white mantle spread as if in quiet contentment
over the scene, and the starlight showed a deeply
blue and serene sky.
The last arrival had shivered and turned white
when, with loud reverberation of horses' feet in
the courtyard, the carriage had drawn up at the
entrance to the Castle. This (at a distance) airy,
fairy palace of delight, that on approaching it
plunged you deep into the gloom of a fortified
castle, this was the forfeited home of that poor
boy whose term of punishment was up to-day,
while she came as an honoured guest to the
place of which she should have been master!
How could she have dared to do it what strength
of evil in her weak character had nerved her to
the outrage, made her believe it possible that she
could carry the thing through? Huddled in her
furs and laces, and bedizenments, she shook as
if she were a prisoner going to her doom, and the
portcullis in act of falling to close her in, and Mr
Kenelm who was in waiting to receive her, was
greatly concerned at her pallor, and drew her at
once to the fire in the great hall, concerning
himself about her in a way quite unusual to that very
self-contained and haughty personage.
And while she smiled she longed to scream and
scream, and her teeth chattered when she tried
to speak, while she drank the wine he gave her at
one draught. But she was so fragile that it was
no wonder that the long journey bad tired her,
and so beautiful that nothing could ever make
her appear less so, and presently he escorted her
to her room, and the lookers-on smiled there was
really no reason why he should not adore Lady
Norman, but it was shockingly bad taste to show
it so openly.
He was a handsome man of 45, with a courtly
air and manner, also a look of character and
great virility, which partly explained Etta
Norman's attraction for him, for she was one of
the most helpless of women, and as he tenderly
supported her steps, she was more like an exquisite
wraith than a living creature.
On their way through the picture-gallery
she stopped dead opposite young Kenelm's portrait,
and put up her hand to her throat as if she were
choking.
"The black sheep of the family," said he,
lightly, "to whose accident I owe all this,"
and he waved his hand comprehensively around
him. "Oddly enough, my daughter, though here
so often, never knew the story till by chance it
was spoken of before her last night."
"You are sure he was guilty?"
He shrugged his shoulders.
"The law," he said, and paused. "Poor devil,"
he added, and paused again. "I had forgotten it,
but believe his sentence expires this very day.
And his poor mother she worshipped him had
an idea that he would come back here directly
he came out. So his room is ready for him come
when he will in the western wing, I am told,
though I have never ordered it. You may know
it because all the other doors are locked, but his
door stands always ajar" he stopped with an
abrupt exclamation, for Lady Norman was
drooping in a dead faint to the ground.
*
*
*
* *
Towards morning the western wing saw
re-enacted an almost precisely similar scene to
the one of five years ago, but the mother, however
heavily weighted had not been bowed down by
sin this trembling, shuddering creature, who
floated like drift-weed down the dark corridor,
might have been a disembodied soul in pain,
bearing a corpse-light in her hand, with which to
guide her to the scene of her crime. Long before
she came to it she saw that door ajar, and, entering
it, the light she carried smote full on the
mother's face with its eager look of greeting, and
she cowered before it as a visible human thing,
and set the light on the ground and kneeled down
before that poor mother, and confessed, at last,
and poured out the troth, and pleaded for pardon
. . . so might she have pleaded to earthly
ears; and earthly ears were there, and heard, for
Letty had barely reached the room with the food
as she had promised when faint footsteps in the
corridor warned her of some one approaching,
and extinguishing her light she hid herself and
burden behind a screen, and waited.
"He did it to save me me . . . his colonel's
wife! I gambled recklessly, I was deeply in debt
. . . and I made love to him . . . and he loved
me . . . I was his first love . . . but the
boy was straight, and would not wrong my
husband . . . and I forged the cheque . . . it
cleared me of all my debts . . . my husband
had sworn to put me away if ever I got into debt
again . . . and I asked Kenelm not to betray
me . . . and he . . . loved me."
Was it fancy, or did the bother's face
suddenly grow convulsed with awful anger and
grief? Looking from behind the screen Letty
saw the shadowy figure writhing in the dust, saw
the pale gold hair covering it as with a mantle,
and in this wreck of a woman suddenly understood
how the boy's young heart had been
caught . . . for in very pity of her helplessness
he had made himself the scapegoat and let her go
scot free.
Only two hours ago she had been the centre of
attraction, the most ethereally beautiful out of
the many beauties the host's tact and taste had
brought hither that night, and now . . . now
Letty's head reeled with the wonder of it all, and
it scarcely startled her when the sash of the
window suddenly descended and a man leaped
lightly into the room.
If he saw the shrouded figure on the ground he
heeded it not, but snatched the light up, and as a
man blind and deaf to all save one over-mastering
need he stepped swiftly to where his mother's
eyes met his full, and loudly and passionately
he cried out:
"Mother! mother!" Ah! those were no
painted eyes that met his, that was no painted
breast beneath which the heart leaped wildly to
meet that cry of love and agony . . . as he had
pictured her through those years of degradation
and pain, believing in him, loving him,
strengthening him, so she looked now, only she
could not speak . . . try as she would she
could not speak could not tell him he was
as dear, as absolutely in her eyes without
sin as when he had stood a little child at her
knee . . . and the only tears that he had
known since boyhood crowded to his eyes and
fell heavily in the dust at his feet. He wanted her
arms round him . . dully he looked down on
something that stirred, arose, and the woman who
had been his ruin rose up like a ghost before him.
 |
|
A white figure rose up before him.
|
"I came," she stammered, "I came " then
put both her hands before her face to hide the
scars that disfigured his. Shall a man go through
hell, live daily with wild beasts in human form,
and yet there be no mark upon him? Perhaps it
was well for his mother that she carried the
memory of an unlined, boyish face with her to
another world.
"I had not seen your home, Kenelm," the
woman said pitifully. "I had not seen your
mother's face" she paused and desolately
looked up at it, "but now, since fate has brought
us here together, this very night shall be told the
truth, and nothing but the truth. The man who is
heir in your place shall be wakened, it shall all
be set down in writing my maid is here to
attest it she knew everything, but kept silence
for my sake and your name shall be cleared. My
husband is dead. Were he living I fear I could
not dare not " she stopped abruptly, and
snatching up the light she seized his hand, and
with feverish strength dragged him with her out
of the room.
*
*
*
* *
Letty still knelt there, cramped and stupefied
when half an hour later Kenelm came back to
the room, this time accompanied by her father,
who was half-stunned by the story which Etta
Norman and her maid had confessed to him.
"I fear I cannot give you back the estates
which your father entailed on me, and my daughter
after me," he said, but Lady Norman's
confession, as she insists, shall be placed in the hands
of the authorities to-morrow" he sighed heavily,
"and meanwhile I will send the servants here "
But Kenelm cut him short. He only wanted to
be alone wanted no servants, no preparations
made for his comfort, and when the door closed
he looked long at his mother, and presently said
gravely, and just as if she could hear
"Noblesse oblige. I had to do it, mother. I
loved you both, and I sacrificed you."
Then he kindled the fire Letty had laid in the
morning, drew a small key from his pocket, and
with it unlocked a secret door known only to
himself and his mother, hidden in a panel of the
wall.
It was here that in her dying letter she had
commanded him to look for her last message.
In amazement he drew out one by one the jewel
cases, the bags of gold and notes, all the property
that she had secretly realised, and put there
just before she died to enable him to start the
world afresh when he came out of prison. He
piled them on the table, closed the panel, then
bowing his head upon his arms wept as a man
weeps but once in his life at the thought of that
great love which had believed in him, planned for
him, and so implicitly trusted in his love to obey
her wish that she had died almost content, knowing
that he was provided for.
Hark! what is that? Had she indeed found
voice to come and comfort him? For close at
hand he heard a sigh, a moan, and starting up, he
dashed aside a heavy screen to see a girl kneeling
there, ice-frozen, her stiff arms embracing a
bottle of wine and generous dole of food, and,
intuitively guessing her errand there, he looked up
to his mother, as if asking her blessing on the
truest and sweetest face he had ever seen.
"And I have got my hero back," said Letty
shyly, as later he accompanied her to the inhabited
part of the castle, and she looked very earnestly
at he sterner, older cast of the features that
through long years she had learned by heart, and,
thank God, no mark of shame was there, for the
knowledge of his innocence and his own indomitable
spirit had carried him through an ordeal
from which not one man in a thousand ever
emerges unbrutalised.
*
*
*
* *
There is no dust on the threshold of the Cedar
Room now, and often Kenelm and Letty enter
the chamber hand in hand and linger there so dear
is it for its associations for them both, but the
mother's picture is gone. It hangs in their
chamber on the other side of the castle, where her
boy's children wave their little hands to the
pretty lady who "talks," and her face turns to
them in as radiant a look of love and welcome
as ever it held for a son and the girl he loved,
when the two stood before her and begged her
blessing. But for her, they had never met, and
the truth had never been told but for her love
there had not been left a door ajar.
(The End.)