THE CONFESSIONS OF A WOMAN ROGUE
A True Document of Wonderful Human Interest
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HE TOOK ME IN HIS ARMS AND KISSED MY EYES AND LIPS, AND BLESSED THE DAY HE MET ME.
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PART II.
IT
all happened in a second's time, and before I
could collect my vanished wits the butler pushed
me to one side as be refilled the First Secretary's
glass, pouring so slowly that I was hidden from
view until the scribbled line was on the salver.
It seemed a century before I got out of the room, and
as I passed toward the door I caught a whisper from
the butler. I was to leave the house at once.
Frälein
was waiting and I quite took her breath
by hailing the first hansom and promising the cabby
much largess if he would drive like mad. He did, and
when I burst in on Lutreau for the first and only time
in my life I had hysterics.
We left London that night, and I was posted in
Scotland Yard. Zika's circumstantial tale when the
robbery was discovered proved convincing enough for
the authorities.
We took passage on a steamship that put in at
Gibraltar, and dropped off there. I was a girl once
more, and wore short dresses. Lutreau said that they
would be more in keeping with my close cropped
curls, but I am sure that to keep my appearance as
youthful as possible fitted in more to his purpose.
We now lay for more than a year, travelling in
desultory fashion through Southern Europe. Sometimes
Lutreau went in for gambling he always
carried his layout with him and we worked our
accustomed game. But in no one place did we tarry long.
Lutreau had dropped his English clothes and side
whiskers; and had gone back to the imperial and
monocle of Paris days. We were father and daughter
now, under the name of Veit.
As I grew older I found much to enjoy in Lutreau's
mental whimsies. He read everything that he could
lay his hands on, and he carried me with him through
the process of digesting what he called "brain
manna." Of the French authors he never tired. He
would read them aloud to me, extracting some homely
moral from risqué situations and glossing over the
questionable tales with rare delicacy. His annotation
of the works of these French writers, who leave
so little to the imagination, was the medium through
which he conveyed to me necessary knowledge that
he would have found difficult to impart in any other
way.
We finally drifted from Naples to Venice. In the
former city our winnings were heavy, and when we
reached Venice we lived luxuriously. I had many
beautiful gowns and my first jewels, and more
admirers than were good for me. Our rooms were
thronged every evening, and, together with heavy
profits, came a very good time for me.
Beautiful Venice gave me my first sweetheart, a
clear eyed Englishman. It was all very innocent, and
for the first time I felt the attraction of the opposite
sex. It is the only time in my life that I shared with
other girls the things that count in life. We were
awfully happy, drifting about in the gondolas, thrilling
with that undefinable sensation that only the
young, standing upon the border land, can ever know.
I gave to him all the pent up affection that had
found no outlet since mother died, and the days were
golden. He asked me to be his wife. I can never forget
the day, the flood of sunshine, the ripple of the
water and the bits of blue that shone above the
canals. I did not hesitate in toy answer. Did not
all the world seem reaching out to bless us and to
give me the happiness so near and dear? He took
me in his arms and kissed my eyes and lips and
blessed the day he met me.
I never saw him after that.
Full of my happiness, I hastened to Lutreau. He
heard me out, walked across to the window, returned
and took both my hands.
"I do not think," he said slowly, "that even the
younger son of an English lord would care to marry
the accomplice of a thief and gambler."
The light of life went out that day. I knew myself
and with the full awakening began the hardening
process that came so near to sending me upon the
shoals for good and all.
Lutreau mercifully took me away next day, and
after a short stay in the Alps we went to Berlin.
Lutreau bad. left me to myself, to tramp the
mountains and think things out, so the change in me was
not visible even to his keen eyes.
We took up the old life, gambling, forging and
sleight of hand. Berlin's gay world came to us, and
I well to forget the ache that wrung my poor little
heart, I did as every other woman does who forces a
smile to eyes and lips. I laughed, made merry, smoked
cigarettes and, despite Lutreau's frowns, tasted of
absinthe.
Our life in Berlin was gayer than I had ever known.
High officers of court were our constant guests, and
beautiful women, bold of eye and covered with jewels,
came in their train. There was no idle time for
me, the play was high and Lutreau's signals kept me
on the alert. Then, I would not have been a woman
had I not quickened to the ardent looks, flowers and
bonbons that were my portion. I became the toast
of the clubs and Lutreau's popularity grew apace.
But popularity is not always a desirable quantity.
Ours proved our undoing. It brought Zika.
A creature of Zika's calibre never gives up the
chase. He would have run me down, had I gone to
the furthest corner of the earth. Besides, Zika wanted
his jewels, and never for a moment had he doubted
that I could tell him of their whereabouts.
For the first time Lutreau asked me to trade on my
personality. But it was plain to see that the thought
was repugnant to him and that he must be in desperate
straits.
I sometimes think that in his tightly sealed heart
my mother's child held an affection that the man's
repressed nature was incapable of giving expression
to.
Lutreau volunteered more explanation than he had
ever before given to me. It was not convenient to
leave Berlin. There was a job on, the most important
that he had ever ventured. But, and his voice was
very kindly, if Zika made the running too hard for me
we would close up.
Zika did. Terrorizing me with threats of exposure
and arrest, he forced his attentions upon me, until,
frightened and disgusted with life, he wrung from
me a promise to go to his rooms. I did not have a
chance to tell Lutreau, because he came in late, our
rooms were full and the play was running high. Zika
had gone, but was to return, and I was to go with
him at midnight. I looked so ill that Lutreau made
me go to my room, promising to come to me at the
first possible moment.
When Zika came back he had been drinking, and
when he found that I was not present the beast in
him could no longer be held in leash. Beginning with
innuendoes, taunts and sneers, he finally burst forth
into a volley of invectives, hurling them at Lutreau
and shouting to him to produce me, that he owned
me body and soul.
Those were the last words Zika ever spoke.
Lutreau took him by the collar he was twice Zika'a
size and lifting him like a puppy, carried him to the
door, put him out, shut the door, turned the key and
returned to the table. There was a scream of rage
from 'without, the sound of scuffling and two shots.
Zika's body was found crumpled up half way down
the stairs, a bullet through the heart. That was the
first time I knew that Lutreau had a pal who stood
guard on the outside.
The excitement was awful, and in the midst of it
Lutreau and I dropped from one of the back windows
to a shed below, from thence to a back alley, taking
nothing with us but the fur coats that Lutreau was
quick enough to think of.
It is a terrible thing to be hunted, to skulk and hide
and tremble with fear! I cannot bear to have furs,
the skins of animals or the breasts or wings about
me. They bring back that terrible period when, fearful
of every disguise, we clung to dark corners, flitting
from place to place in the sheltering darkness of the
night.
In this fashion we got back to Italy, where, to add
to the difficulties. I succumbed to an illness that
clogged brain and muscle. We dressed and lived like
beggars, and in the Italian byways that we were
compelled to travel there were no comforts. I would
have fared badly had not Lutreau carried me in his
arms to a convent and given me to the care of the
sisters.
Lutreau hid somewhere in the vicinity until I
recovered sufficiently to travel, We then made our way
to the coast and embarked for Cairo. It was Lutreau's
purpose to hide there for a while and then return to
America.
The sea air restored me, and when we landed at
Cairo we registered as Mr. and Miss Jenkins, United
States America. I think that we 'were there a
week when we suddenly moved to an obscure and very
dirty lodging. We had been tracked. Lutreau's
nerve never deserted him. He gave me a packet to
be opened if he should be taken and secured me an
Oriental costume and a stain for my skin. He also
gave me full directions as to how to return to Paris
and where to go. He thought it best for us to take
separate lodgings, so I got into the queer garments and
went to live over a bazaar. In two days a scrawl
from Lutreau reached me.
"The game is up. If I can beat them I will either
meet you or send word to Paris, otherwise you will
know that I have ended life as I began a gentleman."
That was my last word from Lutreau. The men
who had tracked him down found him still warm, with
a wound in his temple.
And so I was alone in filth ridden Cairo, and did
not dare to even see that my poor friend was decently
buried.
The packet contained $5,000 and written directions
as to how to get away from Cairo, and what to do
when I reached Paris. He even gave me the number
of the pension, and the name Mlle. Jardrin that I
was to use. But not one word was there of his
past or friends.
That was a sorry time, and I journeyed to Paris
with a heavy heart, and, not knowing what else to
do, went to the pension as he directed. I lived there
for a year, employing an impoverished old gentlewoman
as companion. I dressed in deep mourning,
and the enshrouding veil was sufficient disguise. And
then my evil star shone out again.
Youth and high spirits are bard enough in
themselves to subdue, but when one drops suddenly from a
life keyed to the highest pitch of excitement to a
drab existence mischief is sure to brew.
I missed Lutreau, his companionship was a vital
thing, charged with infinite variety. Mme. Dranon
Was old, sometimes querulous, and always self-centred
as to the material side of life. She wearied me, and
the reaction threw me in the way of M. Duvigne,
who lived at the pension. Possibly thirty-five, he
was very good looking and exceedingly gay and
amusing. ire evinced the liveliest admiration for me
and my crystallized sensibilities did not warn me to
look beyond his surface.
We became good comrades and once more life
showed to me its lighter phase. I will pass over the
froth that characterized this period. Jolly companions
and outings put an end to Mme. Dranon, and I
found myself under Duvigne's protection.
As I had no business acumen I did not look to the
future or think what would happen when Lutreau's
legacy was spent. Duvigne had no occupation, living
by chance, and so it was not long before he was
sharing my money.
I had lived an honest life after Lutreau's death, and
though I had never weighed the question as to
whether or not I would take up my old profession, my
wits were as keen as ever.
Frequently I amused the visitors who came to our
apartment with exhibitions of my sleight of hand
tricks. The cleverness of my work suggested to
Duvigne that I might work in vaudeville. He arranged
all the details and I made my début. My act went
well, and later on I was engaged to go with a troupe
of French players to New York.
Duvigne went with me. We opened in a New York
vaudeville house, but we did not make a hit, and
after two weeks we went to pieces.
Then Duvigne deserted me, taking every cent of my
money except fifty dollars.
I was alone in New York entirely friendless.
Finally, when almost reduced to starvation, I
procured the position of companion to an elderly woman
who was a semi-invalid. For two years my life
dragged along in deadly monotony. The woman died
in Chicago. She had made a will in the form of a
few paragraphs, signed by two witnesses. I copied
the thing verbatim, changing the name of the
beneficiary to my own.
My work was well done and would have passed
muster, but, alas for my plan! she had made a duplicate
one, on the same date, that was witnessed by a
notary in addition to the other two witnesses, and
then placed it in the keeping of a lawyer.
There is no use to dwell on the details of the
investigation that finally landed me in the penitentiary
under sentence for five years. Nor will I write of
that dreadful time, when the days passed in ceaseless
monotony. My hands calloused with the drudgery
and my soul shrivelled with the hopelessness.
My sentence was commuted, and again I was
confronted with the problem of how to live. The prison
matron sent me to a woman in Chicago who looked
after convict women that had no friends. She found
employment for these and helped them on to the right
road. She finally procured for me the position of
lady's maid.
 
The habits of a lifetime are hard to overcome.
Sometimes I had to grit my teeth and clench my
hands to keep from purloining the trinkets, money
and jewels that the women of the family left about.
Bitterness at my menial position, a longing for the
old life with its gay excitement, made me desperate,
and I would determine to forswear the path of
righteousness for good and all. And then I would remember
the simple, kindly words of the prison chaplain.
He never forgot our talk, and the day I left he bade
me God speed in fervent words.
 
I kept a clean record as lady's maid and after a
while became companion to a dear old lady. She had
three darling grandchildren, whose daily visits to her
grew to be great events to me. How I did romp and
play with those children! The games that I invented
were wonderful affairs, and I got quite as much fun
out of them as they did. The children grew to love
me; you may imagine how I returned the affection
in double measure, so that when it was discovered
that I spoke French and German, I went to them as
governess.
 
Did I say that I knew no creed? Hanging on the
wall of my bedroom in illumined letters are the
words, "And a little child shall lead them."
 
Those little children led me out of a veritable
slough of sin, and took me so far away that I forgot
the way back.
 
It was the first time I had ever seen any genuine
home life husband, wife and children bound
together by ties that were new and strange. Some good
angel guided me to this particular home. Mr. and
Mrs. Stone were the best type of Americans young,
vigorous, prosperous and loving. To them the
paramount thing in life was the spirit of home. They
knew nothing of my past, but took me in as one of
the family, with the unquestioning faith that is
beyond betrayal. It was not long before they joined
with the children in evincing a warm affection for me.
 
Can you no, I do not believe any one can
realize what this meant to me. I was reincarnated.
Never again did I suffer one moment's temptation.
The years of sin were not. All the buoyancy of my
nature flourished again, and each day brought some
new happiness.
 
I met my husband in the Stone home. He lived
near us, boarding with some friends of the Stones.
In the suburbs of Chicago people are neighborly, and
came about that we were thrown together.
 
I was too happy and busy with the children to think
about him. It was through a laughing remark of
Mrs. Stone a teasing allusion to the time when she
might lose me, only a bit of nonsense but it brought
a shadow into the sunshine and sent me to my room
with a blinding headache.
 
I remembered Venice, my clear-eyed English
sweetheart, and Lutreau's words that burst my fairy
bubble. All through that sleepless night the awful
years came back in ghastly array. But the prison
chaplain had said that it would be all right, if I did
my part; I remembered that.
 
The days went on and I tried not to think of
Robert, or what it would mean to me to have a home
and to be loved as Mrs. Stone was.
 
But Robert is a determined man. He was in love
and he meant for me to know about it. When he did
succeed, despite my efforts to prevent him telling
me, he was equally determined to know the reason of
my refusal. And so he kept on pleading, and I kept
on refusing to tell, until I felt in honor bound to
confess everything. He knew that I loved him, and I
knew that he was man enough to bury my secret,
even though he could love me no longer.
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I TOLD HIM THE WHOLE MISERABLE STORY.
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I told him the whole miserable story. We were by
the lake, and I can yet see the gray look of his face
and the unbelievable horror in his eyes. When I told
him how heaven had opened to me when the Stones
took me in, and begged him to keep silent, he covered
his eyes and wept like a child.
 
He had not one word for me, and we returned to
my home in silence. I did not see him again for
almost a year. One day, without warning, he came
in, took me in his arms, and said:
 
"I love you, I trust you. Nothing else matters."
(THE END)